Their Majesties at CairParavelgov
by narniagirl11
Summary: What if Narnia had internet? What if every character had email? What would they say and to whom would they write? What kind of pranks, love letters, live chats, war threats and virus' would occur? Is someone out to get the quick typing kings and queens?
1. Getting Started

**Author's note:** Just so you know, this is based on the idea of: What if Narnia had internet and email? I had to use the word 'at' instead of the little email simbol but it means the same!

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><p><strong>Their_Majesties at Cair Paravel .gov<strong>

**by narniagirl11**

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><p>From: Peter (magnificentking at cairparavel .gov)<p>

To: Susan (suthegentle at cairparavel. gov); Edmund (edthejust at cairparavel. gov); Lucy (luthevaliant at cairparavel. gov)

Subject: Email

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><p>Hello my siblings,<p>

The internet is now up and running throughout Narnia as well as Archenland and several other regions. I have been so kind as to set up email addresses for you as follows:

Susan - suthegentle at cairparavel. gov

Edmund – edthejust at cairparavel. gov

Lucy – luthevaliant at cairparavel. gov

You can reach me, (Peter) at: magnificentking at cairparavel. gov. Have fun emailing each other and our friends in Narnia, Archenland, Calormen (if we have any), Ettinsmoor, etc.

- Peter (the Magnificent)

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><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Peter; Susan; Lucy

Subject: RE: Email

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><p>Isn't this swell! :P Now we can communicate without seeing each other. But seriously, why is your email: magnificentking? I wonder what Susan has to say about it…<p>

- Ed

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><p>From: Susan<p>

To: Peter; Edmund; Lucy

Subject: RE: Email

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><p>A bunch of nonsense, I say! But I am glad to be able to talk with Aravis faster. I wonder why Lucy has not tried her email yet. Anyway, I'm going to write to Prince Cor now.<p>

- Susan the Gentle

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><p>From: Lucy<p>

To: Peter

Subject: FW: Tea

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><p>Hi Peter! Mt. Tumnus wrote below. Please say we can go, Peter!<p>

- Lucy

Original message from: Tumnus the Faun (sleepytea at lanternwaste .com)

To: Queen Lucy

Subject: Tea

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><p>Queen Lucy,<p>

Would you and your family come for tea next Monday?

- Mr. Tumnus

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><p>From: Peter<p>

To: Tumnus the Faun

Subject: RE: Tea

* * *

><p>Mr. Tumnus,<p>

My siblings and I are looking forward to tea on Monday with you. Thank you so much. Susan says she'll bring a cake.

- King Peter (the Magnificent)

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><p>From: Corin (thunderfist at anvard .gov)<p>

To: Cor (don'twanttobeking at anvard .gov)

Subject: :P

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><p>Ha! Cor if you tell Father about my email, I'll knock you down!<p>

- Corin

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><p>From: Cor<p>

To: Corin

Subject: RE: :P

* * *

><p>Too late! Father already found out. Anyway, he said it's alright. Besides, Aravis emails Queen Susan almost every day!<p>

- Cor

* * *

><p>LIVE CHAT<p>

Queen Susan has entered chat.

Aravis has entered chat.

Susan: Hey Aravis!

Aravis: Hi Queen Susan! Did you see the new pictures your brother posted from your party?

Susan: What? No! Silly Peter. He kept goofing off.

Aravis: Not Peter; Edmunaoqzdkned;[oehaoghaoighaoginwweekgj

Susan: Are you okay?

Aravis: What? Oh, I'm fine.

Uggg!

Susan: What?

Aravis: Cor was reading over my shoulder! And trying to type! Again!

Susan: At least my brothers don't do that.

King Peter has entered chat.

Peter: Hey Su! What are you talking about?

Susan: I take that back.

Peter: What?

Aravis: GO AWAY PETER!

Peter: Fine, if that's the way you feel about it! :(

King Peter has left chat.

Susan: *rolls eyes*

Aravis: I hope I didn't hurt his feelings.

Susan: Nah, he's bluffing. I can hear him laughing in the hall outside my door.

Aravis: I have to get off. It's Corin's turn. If I don't, I'll probably get knocked down.

Susan: :( Bye!

Aravis: Bye!

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><p>From: Giantking (evilgiant at foreverfetid .gov)<p>

To: King Peter; King Edmund

Subject: War

Attachment: war-peace-plan-virus

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><p>King Peter and King Edmund,<p>

It has come to my attention that our people are enemies. However, in the attachment, I explain my idea for peace. Please take it into consideration.

- Giantking,

Always evil; always ferocious

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><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Peter

Subject: RE: War

* * *

><p>Peter,<p>

Don't open the attachment from the Giantking. It is probably a virus as the title suggests. I am having it checked into.

- Ed the Just

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><p><strong>Author's note: <strong>The plot bunnies have been busy! I wonder if the computers throughout Narnia are down because of this new unknown virus from the Giants? Stay tuned!


	2. Of Rockstars and Brothers

From: Peter

To: Edmund; Lucy; Susan; Tumnus (sleepytea at lanternwaste. com); the Beavers (mrandmrsbeaver at beaversdam. org); Orious (centaurmight at narniamilitary. gov); Mr. Fox (slyspy at narniamilitary. gov); Reepicheep (fornoblenarnia at aslanscountrytourism. com); **[A/N: I got a kick out of this one. It's: Aslan's Country Tourism!] **Glenstorm (stargazer at narniamilitary. gov);

Subject: Update

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><p>Hello Everyone,<p>

Just wanted you to know that the internet in Narnia will be down for a few days while my brother, King Edmund, installs a virus protection.

- King Peter

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><p>From: Lucy<p>

To: Peter

Subject: RE: Update

* * *

><p>Aww man!<p>

- Lu

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><p>From: Peter<p>

To: Edmund; Lucy; Susan; Tumnus; the Beavers; Orious; Mr. Fox; Reepicheep; Glenstorm

Subject: Update 2

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><p>The internet in Narnia is now back up and running thanks to Edmund! :D<p>

- King Peter

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><p>LIVE CHAT<p>

Queen Susan has entered chat.

Caspian the Fake has entered chat.

Caspian: Hey!

Susan: Who are you?

Caspian: I'm a rockstar, baby!

Susan: You're weird.

Caspian: I'm just a little teapot.

Susan: Okay...

On second thought, do you know who my brother is?

Caspian: That British guy, William Mosely?

Susan: No, that's a fake. My brother is High King Peter!

Caspian: You know, I think I look better in pink and sound better with a Spanish accent.

Susan: That's it! *slams door*

"PETER!"

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><p>From: Susan<p>

To: Peter

Subject: Help!

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><p>Help me, Peter! Some rockstar, teapot freak by the name of Caspian keeps emailing me! I'll forward one to you.<p>

- Su

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><p>From: Susan<p>

To: Peter

Subject: FW: Date

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><p>Original message from: Caspian X (rockstartelmarine at telmar. gov)<p>

To: Susan

Subject: Date

* * *

><p>Hey Baby!<p>

What's up? I brought us tickets to see 'The Rockin Fauns' tomorrow night. Love you!

Your Caspy

- Marry Me, Susan

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><p>From: Peter<p>

To: Caspian X

Subject: Just a warning...

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><p>It has come to my attention that you are after my sister, Queen Susan. This is a warning: if you leave now, you emails will not be traced. BUT if you continue to harass my family, you <em>will<em> regret it...immensely!

- Peter the Magnificent,

High King of Narnia, Emperor of the Lone Islands, Lord of Cair Paravel, Knight of the Most Noble Order of the Lion

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><p><strong>Author's note: <strong>So now we have the giant king emailing virus', a fake rockstar, teapot freak who calls himself Caspian or Caspy, and now Peter is threatening him for emailing his sister. I wonder what will happen next...

Oh and incase you couldn't tell I am offically anti-Suspian. Susan is my story is the _real_ Susan from the books. But don't worry, the bookverse Caspian will make his appearance too. (Just not with Susan)


	3. Their Majesties Email Address Book

**Their Majesties Email Address Book**

**Friends from Narnia, Archeland and who know's where!**

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><p>Aravis: fashiontarkheena at anvard. gov<p>

Mr. & Mrs. Beaver: mrandmrsbeaver at beaversdam. org

Caspian the Fake: rockstartelmarine at telmar. gov

Caspian X: theseafarer at cairparavel. gov

Prince Cor: dontwanttobeking at anvard. gov

Coriakin: theoppresor at opressive. com **[A/N: Ha ha! That's from the Voyage of the Dawn Treader movie]**

Prince Corin: thunderfist at anvard. gov

King Edmund the Just: edthejust at cairparavel. gov

Eustace Clarence Scrubb: needatoothpick at cairparavel. gov

Mr. Fox: slyspy at narniamilitary. gov

Ginnabrick: donttouchmybeard at evilsidekick. com

Glenstorm: stargazer at narniamilitary. gov

Jadis: queenofwinter at evilvilian. com **[A/N: Isn't she supposed to be dead? *shruggs shoulders* I guess they have email in hell]**

Jill Pole: dontmesswiththedress atcairparavel. gov

Lady of the Green Kirtle: talktothemist at evilvilian. com **[A/N: She's supposed to be dead too, hmm.]**

Liliandil: beautifulstar at ramandusisland. com

Queen Lucy the Valiant: luthevaliant at cairparavel. gov

Maugrim: bestillstranger at secretpolice. gov

Nikabric: blackdwarfparty at evilsidekick. com

Orious: centaurmight at narniamilitary. gov

King Peter the Magnificent: magfinicentking at cairparavel. gov

Prince Rabadash: handsomeprince at tashbaan. gov

Reepicheep: fornoblenarnia at aslanscountrytourism. com

Prince Rilian: serpentslayer at cairparavel. gov

Queen Susan the Gentle: suthegentle at cairparavel. gov

King Tirian: tiemetoatree at cairparavel. gov **[A/N: My sister came up with this one cause they tie him to a tree in the Last Battle book]**

Trumpkin: dlf at cairparavel. gov

Tumnus the Faun: sleepytea at lanternwaste. com

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><p><strong>Author's note: <strong>So there you have it! Narnia's new email address book! If you have any suggestions for more emails, email addresses, characters I forgot or you want me to add, or anything you want to know about the story, feel free to review or PM me! I would love hear from you and answer your questions the best I can. Thank you!


	4. Quiz Time and Kirrrtle

From: Lucy

To: Edmund; Susan; Peter; Mr. Tumnus; Aravis; Cor; Corin; Trumpkin; Jill Pole; Coriakin; Eustace Scrubb;

Subject: Quiz Time!

* * *

><p>Hey Everyone!<p>

Here are the rules for the Quiz:

_Erase what I wrote, You have to fill out EVERY SINGLE QUESTION! You have to send it back to me. You can send it to different people too! _

_Have fun!_

_- Lucy_

**Name:** Lucy Pevensie

**Favorite Christmas Present:** My healing cordial of course!

**Hair color:** redish blond

**Eye Color:** blue

**Favorite Food**: Susan's surprise cake

**Do you have a Nickname?**: Lu or Luce

**Do you have pets? How many:** None...but I want a puppy! (hint, hint, Peter)

**Is there a person you love so much that it makes you cry?: **Aslan of course!

**Who will you most likely send this to?:** My siblings, Mr. Tumnus, Trumpkin and the rest of my friends

**Who will probably reply the fastest?: **Um, Susan or Aravis

**Who will probably not reply?:** I'll say, Peter cause he's pretty busy being High King

**What time is it:** 8:03 AM

**Favorite Flower**: I have nooooooooooo idea!

**Warner Brothers or Disney**: Disney! But I like Walden Media the best. (Figure out why!)

**Favorite ice cream:** Cookies and Cream! Or strawberry!

**Favorite Quote:** "Narnia's not going to run out of toast, Ed."

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><p>From: Susan<p>

To: Lucy; Edmund; Peter; Mr. & Mrs. Beaver; Aravis; Cor; Corin; Trumpkin; Jill Pole; Eustace Scrubb; Caspian the Fake

Subject: FW: Quiz Time!

* * *

><p>Hi! Just a fun quiz from Lucy.<p>

- Susan

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><p>Original message from: Lucy Pevensie<p>

To: Edmund; Susan; Peter; Mr. Tumnus; Aravis; Cor; Corin; Trumpkin; Jill Pole; Coriakin; Eustace Scrubb;

Subject: Quiz Time!

Hey Everyone!

Here are the rules for the Quiz:

Erase what I wrote, You have to fill out EVERY SINGLE QUESTION! You have to send it back to me. You can send it to different people too!

Have fun!

- Lucy

**Name:** Susan Pevensie

**Favorite Christmas Present:** My bow and horn!

**Hair color:** dark brown, almost black

**Eye Color:** blue

**Favorite Food**: Mrs. Beaver's fish and chips

**Do you have a Nickname?**: Su

**Do you have pets? How many:** None...(Lucy, you don't need a puppy!)

**Is there a person you love so much that it makes you cry?: **I agree with Lucy: Aslan of course!

**Who will you most likely send this to?:** My siblings, Mr. Tumnus, Trumpkin and the rest of my friends

**Who will probably reply the fastest?: **Aravis or Jill

**Who will probably not reply?:** Eustace or Mr. Beaver

**What time is it:** 12:42 PM

**Favorite Flower**: violets

**Warner Brothers or Disney**: Um, I don't know

**Favorite ice cream:** Good old fashioned vanilla.

**Favorite Quote:** "He's a beaver. He shouldn't be saying anything!"

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><p>From: Lady of the Green Kirtle (talktothemist at evilvilian. com)<p>

To: Peter, Susan, Edmund, Lucy

Subject: Gift

Attachment: Sssoothing music

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><p>Dear Majesties,<p>

I have sssssent you a wonderful package. When it arrrrrives, thrrrow the contentssss in the firrre and open the attachment on thisssss email. I hope you enjoy!

- Yourrrr enemy, the Lady of the Green Kirrrtle

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><p><strong>Author's note: <strong>Well, well. The Lady of the Green Kirtle is back! I wonder if her attachment is a virus too... Please, please review! It brightens my day! :D I will give everyone who reviews a virtual Caspy the Fake plushy!


	5. Dreaming of the Best

From: Caspian the Fake

To: Prince Rabadash; Susan

Subject: FW: Quiz Time!

* * *

><p>Hey, Rab!<p>

From your ole buddy, Caspy

(Hey, Susie! Love ya!)

* * *

><p>Original message from: Queen Susan<p>

To: Lucy; Edmund; Peter; Mr. & Mrs. Beaver; Aravis; Cor; Corin; Trumpkin; Jill Pole; Eustace Scrubb; Caspian the Fake

Subject: FW: Quiz Time!

* * *

><p>Hi! Just a fun quiz from Lucy.<p>

- Susan

* * *

><p>Original message from: Lucy Pevensie<p>

To: Edmund; Susan; Peter; Mr. Tumnus; Aravis; Cor; Corin; Trumpkin; Jill Pole; Coriakin; Eustace Scrubb;

Subject: Quiz Time!

* * *

><p>Hey Everyone!<p>

Here are the rules for the Quiz:

Erase what I wrote. You have to fill out EVERY SINGLE QUESTION! You have to send it back to me. You can send it to different people too!

Have fun!

- Lucy

**Name:** Caspian (the Fake)

**Favorite Christmas Present:** Electric guitar

**Hair color:** greasy black

**Eye Color:** dark brown

**Favorite Food**: Scorpion lollipop

**Do you have a Nickname?**: Caspy

**Do you have pets? How many:** An octopus

**Is there a person you love so much that it makes you cry?: **Of course! My beautiful sweetheart, Susan. I cry about her every night that she doesn't email me.

**Who will you most likely send this to?:** My evil accomplice, Rabadash and my sweet Susan

**Who will probably reply the fastest?: **Rabadash

**Who will probably not reply?:** Um, Susan

**What time is it:** 2:28 AM

**Favorite Flower**: violets, cause my Susan likes them!

**Warner Brothers or Disney**: Um, I don't know

**Favorite ice cream:** Banana squid

**Favorite Quote:** "Marry me, Susan."

* * *

><p>Live Chat<p>

Caspian the Fake (Caspy) has entered chat.

Prince Rabadash has entered chat.

King Edmund has entered chat.

Rabadash: What were you thinking, you idiot!

Caspy: She's my girl!

Rabadash: No!

Caspy: We are engaged.

Rabadash: Yah, right! Whatever! She's interested in me!

Edmund: Gentlemen! As Queen Susan's brother, I say this conversion is pointless. Queen Susan will marry neither of you while Peter and I are living. And she doesn't like either one of you anyway!

Caspy: But-but she loves me.

Rabadash: *snort* In your dreams!

Caspy: I don't dream! It's the truth.

Edmund: Ahem. This discussion is over.

Prince Rabadash has left chat.

Caspy: Not fair!

Edmund: Of course it's fair. I'm King Edmund the Just, aren't I?

Caspy: :/

Caspian the Fake has left chat.

Edmund: Well, well, well :D

Queen Lucy has entered chat.

Lucy: Hey, Ed! What are you doing?

Edmund: Oh, nothing much.

Lucy: Peter says we can't get a puppy. :(

Edmund: What would we do with it anyway?

Lucy: Oh, you don't know how lonely it can get here.

Edmund: Talk about it! Su's not the best company right now. She is quite a state about this Caspy fellow.

Lucy: Peter's trying to calm her down. Caspy's just SO MEAN!

Edmund: And selfish! Oh, Peter's calling for me. Guess I have to go. Bye!

Lucy: Ttyl!

King Edmund has left chat.

Queen Lucy has left chat.

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><p>From: Susan<p>

To: Peter

Subject: Ug!

* * *

><p>Help Peter! Caspian the Fake is back! He's trying to marry me! He sent me a digital engagement ring!<p>

- Susan (the Gentle, who is losing her patience)

* * *

><p>From: Peter<p>

To: Susan

Subject: RE: Ug!

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><p>Susan,<p>

I am so sorry about this Caspy fellow. It seems he won't bug off. But Edmund is doing his best to track him down so he won't bother you any longer. Don't worry. Ed and I will take care of him.

Your brother, Peter

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><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Lucy

Subject: Ride

* * *

><p>Hey Lu!<p>

Do you want to go for a ride with me this afternoon?

Love, Ed

* * *

><p>From: Lucy<p>

To: Edmund

Subject: RE: Ride

* * *

><p>Aww, sure! I'll meet you in the stables in five minutes.<p>

- Lu

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><p>From: Peter<p>

To: Susan

(No subject)

* * *

><p>Hey Su!<p>

Hope your day goes well.

Love you,

Peter

* * *

><p>From: Susan<p>

To: Peter

RE: (No subject)

* * *

><p>Thanks Peter. You are the best brother a girl could have! Well, Ed is pretty good too but you are still the best...even if you are insanely heroic, stubborn, proud, thoughtful, kind and a great friendbrother/High King. Love you too!

- Su

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><p>From: Peter<p>

To: Susan

RE: RE: (No subject)

* * *

><p>Aww, thanks Susan! You're the best sister! (Not that Lucy isn't a good sister either! :D) I admit that as your wonderfully and insanely good-looking brother, I can be a bit overly heroic. But I am never proud! Well, maybe just a little.<p>

- Peter

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><p>From: Susan<p>

To: Peter

RE: (No subject)

* * *

><p>Just a little? *choking* Okay, well maybe you're not that bad. :D You might be, quote: 'overly heroic' or as I said earlier: 'insanely heroic' but you are still a wonderful brother. And I mean that. I couldn't ask for a better or loving family. And for that I am ever grateful.<p>

- Susan

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><p><strong>Author's note: <strong>Ha ha! I love Susan: "Insanely heroic!" That is Peter. Looking forward to the next chapter! Peter and Edmund's quizzes will probably be included. (Thanks WillowDryad for your idea! I love it!) (And thanks to everyone else who reviewed! You made my day! :D)


	6. Socks, Rocks and Cliffs

From: Edmund

To: Peter; Susan; Lucy

Subject: FW: FW: Quiz Time!

* * *

><p>Ha, Peter! You are the last one to complete Lucy's quiz. You better hurry up or the girls will think I'm the best brother ever!<p>

-Ed

Original message from: Susan

To: Lucy; Edmund; Peter; Mr. & Mrs. Beaver; Aravis; Cor; Corin; Trumpkin; Jill Pole; Eustace Scrubb; Caspian the Fake

Subject: FW: Quiz Time!

* * *

><p>Hi! Just a fun quiz from Lucy.<p>

- Susan

Original message from: Lucy Pevensie

To: Edmund; Susan; Peter; Mr. Tumnus; Aravis; Cor; Corin; Trumpkin; Jill Pole; Coriakin; Eustace Scrubb;

Subject: Quiz Time!

* * *

><p>Hey Everyone!<p>

Here are the rules for the Quiz:

Erase what I wrote. You have to fill out EVERY SINGLE QUESTION! You have to send it back to me. You can send it to different people too!

Have fun!

- Lucy

* * *

><p><strong>Name:<strong> Edmund Pevensie

**Favorite Christmas Present:** Hey! I didn't get one! :(

**Hair color:** dark brown

**Eye Color:** dark brown

**Favorite Food**: Um, pretty much everything, though I don't like bear meat cause we had to eat that for several days! What were you thinking Peter?

**Do you have a Nickname?**: Ed

**Do you have pets? How many:** Nope, but we should get a baby griffin (*puppy dog eyes* Peter, please...I'm just as cute as Lucy! LOL!)

**Is there a person you love so much that it makes you cry?: **Na! Just kidding. Susan and Lucy and yes, you too, Peter

**Who will you most likely send this to?:** My brother who is too busy being High King to answer, and Susan and Lucy

**Who will probably reply the fastest?: **Peter cause Lucy and Susan already did it

**Who will probably not reply?:** Peter, he's too busy

**What time is it:** 5:43 AM

**Favorite Flower**: Seriously? Flowers? Come on!

**Warner Brothers or Disney**: Disney

**Favorite ice cream:** Any kind but I like chocolate chip mint the best

**Favorite Quote:** "Aslan believed you could...and so do I."

* * *

><p>LIVE CHAT<p>

Susan has entered chat

Edmund has entered chat

Peter has entered chat

Susan: What do you mean you didn't get a Christmas present, Ed? What about the socks I made you last year? Hmm?

Edmund: But, Susan! They were all scratchy! *shudder*

Peter: At least I didn't complain

Edmund: Show off! :P

Susan: I thought you liked them!

Edmund (sarcastic): Totally. I can't stop wearing them!

Peter: Honestly, Ed. You NEVER wore them!

Susan: *rolls eyes* Boys...again. So you're saying that you never even wore them?

Edmund: Well. . .

Susan: Peter?

Peter: You see, Susan... We um,

Edmund: We took them on campaign with us but then the enemy attacked and kidnapped them. We weren't about to lose good men fighting over itchy socks.

Peter: Right, Ed!

Susan: Mmhmm. Really.

Edmund: Honestly!

Peter: Ed...

Edmund: Well, not completely honest.

Susan: I'm waiting. What did you really do with them?

Peter: Edmund filled his with rocks and threw them over the cliff into the sea.

Edmund: Tattletale!

Peter: I only said the truth!

Susan: Alright, Peter and Edmund Pevensie! That's enough! Peter, what did you do with _your_ socks?

Edmund: *smirk*

Peter: *glare* (for Edmund) I was smart enough _NOT_ to throw mine off the cliff.

Susan: And what _did_ you do with them?

Peter: Well...

Edmund: Oooo, Peter, you're busted!

Peter: *GLARE!* If looks could kill, you'd be very dead right now, Edmund Pevensie.

Susan: Well, where are they?

Peter: Look, I, um, well, I gave them to Lucy.

Susan: To Lucy? Hmmm?

Edmund: Ask Lucy, he really did.

Peter: Thanks Ed.

Susan: And what did Lucy do with them?

Peter: Um, Lucy gave them to Mr. Tumnus.

Edmund: And Mr. Tumnus turned them into a new scarf!

Susan: *shriek* A new what?

Peter: A new scarf.

Susan: Yes, I know what Edmund said.

Peter: Then why did you ask again?

Susan: Never mind. You are SO ANNOYING SOMETIMES!

Peter: Aww, Su. So nice of you!

Edmund: Um, Peter, I don't think that was a complement.

Peter: Quiet, you! I'm being sarcastic.

Edmund: Ooooh.

Susan: Ug! *slaps forehead* See you at dinner.

Susan has left chat.

Peter: What an amazing, enlightening, _intelligent_ conversation with our darling sister!

Edmund: *smirk*

Peter: Shut up, Ed.

Edmund: I didn't even say anything!

Peter: Exactly, but if I said that then you would say something!

Edmund: Maybe Susan is right. Maybe you are annoying!

Peter: Congratulations on figuring out Narnia's greatest secret!

Edmund: Uhhuh. Don't forget to fill out Lucy's quiz! Bye.

Edmund is leaving chat.

Peter: What? You're leaving me?

Edmund has left chat.

Peter: Ed? Edmund? I'm sorry about telling on you. Please come back! Please?

2 minutes later – Peter: I guess he's gone. Serves him right!

Peter has left chat.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note:<strong> Yay! Another chapter! Thanks to everyone who reviewed! You made my day. :) I love how Edmund filled his socks with rocks and threw them into the sea! Thanks to WillowDryad for her idea with no Christmas present and the socks!


	7. Consequences of Owning a Griffin

**Author's note:** Oh! I'm alive! You didn't seriously think I died, did you? To those of you who died because of a heart attack at the news, I hope you have a nice funeral. Without further ado, 'TheirMajesties at '

* * *

><p>From: Peter<p>

To: Lucy; Susan; Edmund

Subject: FW: FW: Quiz Time!

* * *

><p>See, Ed! I proved you and Lucy wrong. And only in your dreams will you be the best brother! Right Lucy and Susan? You have to back me up here. My brother is trying to seize my throne! Oh, whoops, we already share it.<p>

- Peter

* * *

><p>Original message from: Edmund<p>

To: Peter; Susan; Lucy

Subject: FW: FW: Quiz Time!

* * *

><p>Ha, Peter! You are the last one to complete Lucy's quiz. You better hurry up or the girls will think I'm the best brother ever!<p>

-Ed

* * *

><p>Original message from: Susan<p>

To: Lucy; Edmund; Peter; Mr. & Mrs. Beaver; Aravis; Cor; Corin; Trumpkin; Jill Pole; Eustace Scrubb; Caspian the Fake

Subject: FW: Quiz Time!

* * *

><p>Hi! Just a fun quiz from Lucy.<p>

- Susan

* * *

><p>Original message from: Lucy Pevensie<p>

To: Edmund; Susan; Peter; Mr. Tumnus; Aravis; Cor; Corin; Trumpkin; Jill Pole; Coriakin; Eustace Scrubb;

Subject: Quiz Time!

* * *

><p>Hey Everyone!<p>

Here are the rules for the Quiz:

Erase what I wrote. You have to fill out EVERY SINGLE QUESTION! You have to send it back to me. You can send it to different people too!

Have fun!

- Lucy

**Name:** Peter Pevensie

**Favorite Christmas Present:** Definitely Rhindon (my sword)

**Hair color:** blond

**Eye Color:** blue

**Favorite Food**: Chocolate cake is my weakness, but if Ed has it, it doesn't work...usually

**Do you have a Nickname?**: Not really, sometimes Edmund calls me Pete.

**Do you have pets? How many:** Nope and we are not getting a puppy or a baby griffin.

**Is there a person you love so much that it makes you cry?: **Aslan, Susan, Lucy and yes, my annoying little brother; Fredrick. Oh, just kidding; Edmund. But leave in the 'annoying little brother' part.

**Who will you most likely send this to?:** Edmund, cause he's begging me, Susan and Lucy

**Who will probably reply the fastest?: **No one, cause I'm the last person

**Who will probably not reply?:** Everyone!

**What time is it:** 8:27 PM

**Favorite Flower**: What kind of a question is this? I guess daisies.

**Warner Brothers or Disney**: Disney

**Favorite ice cream:** Chocolate, or pretty much any kind. Peppermint is good too.

**Favorite Quote:** "If he tells us to hurry one more time, I'm going to turn him into a big, fluffy hat!"

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Peter

Subject: Innocent

* * *

><p>Peter, whatever crime you think I may have done, please think twice; I am completely innocent when it comes to swapping your orange juice with orange cough medicine (that yucky kind that you can't swallow without dying). I never had anything to do with it!<p>

Your prankster brother, Ed

PS Would you be mad if I stole your crown? Just wondering...

* * *

><p>From: Peter<p>

To: Edmund

Subject: RE: Innocent

* * *

><p>I'm sorry, Edmund, but I just can't believe that you are completely innocent. And yes, I would be fuming if you stole my crown...not that you'd care how I felt. But now I know who to suspect if my crown goes "missing." I advise you not to try it.<p>

Your noble brother, Peter

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Peter

Subject: RE: Innocent

* * *

><p>Oh, Peter. You're no fun. Why can't I play pranks on everyone in the castle? It's so much fun. You'll have to try it sometime. I won't steal your crown...for now, but who can say what I'll try in the future. I'm not promising anything. But it still wasn't I who exchanged your orange juice. I believe it could have been one of the girls. Particularly Lucy, because you took so long to reply to her quiz. Just saying.<p>

- Ed

* * *

><p>From: Lucy<p>

To: Peter

Subject: Please!

* * *

><p>Peter,<p>

Please, please, please don't believe what Edmund tells you. It was not I who swapped your orange juice. You really should just let this go. I don't think Susan had anything to do with this either. It was most probably Ed but he is trying to hide from you. Right now he has disappeared into the forest claiming that he was going hunting. Probably won't be back for a couple days. I think he's waiting for you to cool down.

- Lu

PS Why can't we get a puppy or a baby griffin?

* * *

><p>From: Peter<p>

To: Lucy

Subject: RE: Please

* * *

><p>Dear Lu,<p>

I'm sorry I let my temper get the best of me. I know it wasn't you or Susan and I am smart enough not to listen to Edmund unless he is actually serious about some law or battle strategy. Why can't Ed be the High King for once so I could go hide out in the woods for a week? And I'm sorry, Lu. We are not getting a puppy or a griffin. Especially not a griffin! Can you even imagine what Susan would do if you brought it home? She'd probably hit you both with a broom and banish you from the castle for two months! And then she would worry herself sick, because of the thought of you alone somewhere. What would I do? I would have enough on my mind being High King and all but then with Susan seriously sick and you lost somewhere with a baby griffin, I would be even more stressed out! So the answer is no. Sorry, we are not getting a griffin and I will not bother to tell you the consequences of getting a puppy.

- Peter, the stressed-out High King

* * *

><p>From: Lucy<p>

To: Peter

Subject: RE: RE: Please

* * *

><p>Darn!<p>

- Lu

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note:<strong> Ha ha ha, I love Lucy's last line: Darn! I also like Peter's letter explaining about the griffin. Wait till you hear what happens next! (Na na, I know and you don't!)


	8. Smelling like a Sandwich

From: Lucy

To: Susan

Subject: FW: Please

* * *

><p>Hey Su!<p>

Read below what Peter says about the baby griffin. What do you think? It will probably make you laugh. I think Peter is the one who doesn't want a pet but he's hiding behind you, making it seem as if you don't want a pet. Crazy Peter!

- Lucy

* * *

><p>Original message from: Peter<p>

To: Lucy

Subject: RE: Please

* * *

><p>Dear Lu,<p>

I'm sorry I let my temper get the best of me. I know it wasn't you or Susan and I am smart enough not to listen to Edmund unless he is actually serious about some law or battle strategy. Why can't Ed be the High King for once so I could go hide out in the woods for a week? And I'm sorry, Lu. We are not getting a puppy or a griffin. Especially not a griffin! [Lucy: What's wrong with a griffin? They are SO cute!] Can you even imagine what Susan would do if you brought it home? [Lu: Oh boy, here you go again!] She'd probably hit you both with a broom and banish you from the castle for two months! [Lu: Mmhmm. Really.]And then she would worry herself sick, because of the thought of you alone somewhere. What would I do? [Lu: Poor, poor Peter. :P] I would have enough on my mind being High King and all but then with Susan seriously sick and you lost somewhere with a baby griffin, I would be even more stressed out! So the answer is no. Sorry, we are not getting a griffin and I will not bother to tell you the consequences of getting a puppy.

- Peter

* * *

><p>From: Susan<p>

To: Lucy

Subject: RE: FW: Please

* * *

><p>Dear Lu,<p>

I think you are right. I, for one, think a baby griffin would be absolutely charming! Or a puppy as well. I don't think Peter doesn't want a pet, I think he is just trying to discourage you from wanting one because he has a different idea. Don't worry, I'll talk to him. But I think you should drop the topic for now.

Your sister,

Susan the Gentle, Queen of Narnia

* * *

><p>From: Lucy<p>

To: Susan

Subject: RE: FW: Please

* * *

><p>Thanks, Su. I'll let it drop (for now.) Love you!<p>

- Lu

* * *

><p>From: Susan<p>

To: Peter; Edmund

Subject: B-day

* * *

><p>Peter &amp; Edmund,<p>

I hope you haven't forgotten that Lucy's birthday is next week. I don't know what you are planning but I think we should have a party for her at least. I was thinking just a small ball, you know. I'll let you two handle some presents. I'll take care of the arrangements and guests.

- Susan

* * *

><p>From: Peter<p>

To: Susan

Subject: RE: B-day

* * *

><p>Hey Su! Ed and I have things under control. Don't worry about anything! :) We have the perfect gift!<p>

- Peter, High King of Narnia

* * *

><p>LIVE CHAT<p>

Queen Susan has entered chat

Caspy the Fake has entered chat

Caspy: Hey baby!

Susan: Yuck! And how dare you call me your baby. I could have you thrown in the dungeon for that!

Caspy: It would be worth it.

Susan: You are SO annoying!

Caspy: I smell-

Susan: Duh! You STINK!

Caspy: No, I meant I smell something. I smell cheese.

Jadis has entered chat

Susan: What?

Caspy: No, I smell lettuce. And mustard too.

Susan: You smell a sandwich?

King Peter has entered chat

Jadis: Hey Caspy. Do you want a bite of my magical sandwich that will put you under a spell and make you more evil than you already are?

Caspy: Nah, have you seen the batteries I bought for my ipod?

Susan: Ipod? What's that?

Jadis: You have no imagination! No wonder Caspy wants to marry you. You have beauty but not brains.

Peter: Hey! Don't insult my sister, you wicked Witch!

Jadis: Who are you calling a wicked witch?

Caspy: Uh, I think he meant you.

Jadis: Actually, I'm a deceased witch.

Caspy: Same thing.

Jadis: Whatever!

Susan: You are a little freaky.

Peter: More than a little.

Susan: If you are dead, how do you have email, Jadis?

Jadis: Oh, well…

Peter: Well?

Jadis: Oops! Got to go!

Jadis has left chat

Peter: That was weird.

Susan: You could say that again.

Peter: That was weird.

Susan: *rolls eyes*

Caspy: Did you see my picture on ? It was amazing!

Peter: Ahem, I have warned you several times to quit stalking my sister.

Caspy: I'm not stalking her! Honest!

Peter: Obviously, you are not honest. Now leave!

Caspy: FINE!

Caspy the Fake has left chat

Susan: Thanks Peter! You're the best! :)

Peter: Aww, thanks! Wait till Ed hears that!

Susan: Ha!

Peter: Well, I better get back to work. C U later!

Susan: Bye!

King Peter has left chat

Queen Susan has left chat

* * *

><p>From: Susan<p>

To: Peter; Edmund; Aravis; Cor; Corin; Mr. Tumnus; The Beavers; Oreius; Reepicheep; Trumpkin; Caspian X; Liliandil; Jill; Eustace;

Subject: Invitation

* * *

><p>Hey Everybody!<p>

Lucy's birthday is coming up quickly. I would like to invite you all to an email chat hosted in her honor on Tuesday starting at 9:00 a.m. I hope to hear from you then!

- Queen Susan the Gentle

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note:<strong> Ta dah! The long awaited chapter is finally up. I wonder who will all come to the email chat for Lucy?


	9. Bored Brother and Birthday

_To_From: Edmund

To: Susan

Subject: ?

* * *

><p>Hi Su,<p>

I'm bored. I don't know what to do. Lucy is off being girly and Peter is stuck in a meeting. Reading is boring and if I show my face in the training yard, Oreius will smack me with his sword until I'm black and blue! Poor me. Don't you have any sympathy for your dear little brother? Can you please, please, PLEASE make me some cake tonight? I'll love you forever if you do!

- Ed the Just

* * *

><p>From: Susan<p>

To: Edmund

Subject: RE: ?

* * *

><p>Dear Ed,<p>

No, I'm sorry. I'm not making cake tonight. We are having brownies. I'll make cake tomorrow. I'm sorry you're bored. Why is Oreius mad at you? Did you do something to provoke it? But still, I don't feel sorry for you. You probably deserve it.

- Su

P.S. I KNOW it was you who swapped Peter's orange juice and I have a mind to tell him that after you tried to blame it on Lucy and me.

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Susan

Subject: RE: ?

* * *

><p>Come on, Su! Please don't tell Peter. I won't do it again. I'll even hold still during fittings this time. Just PLEASE DON'T TELL PETER!<p>

Your desperate brother,

Edmund

P.S. I'll tell you about Oreius later.

* * *

><p>LIVE CHAT<p>

Queen Lucy has entered chat

Queen Susan has entered chat

Susan: Happy birthday, Lucy!

Lucy: Thank you, Su.

King Edmund has entered chat

King Peter has entered chat

Peter: Happy birthday, Lu!

Lucy: Thanks!

Aravis has entered chat

Aravis: Hey chic! Happy birthday!

Lucy: Thanks, Aravis!

Aravis: What's been your favorite part of the day so far?

Lucy: Hugs from all my siblings. :)

Aravis: All of them?

Lucy: Yep, even Ed. :D

Edmund: Well, it _is_ your birthday

Lucy: You'll never guess what Peter, Su and Ed got me for my birthday!

Aravis: What, hon?

Lucy: A BABY GRIFFIN! 3 Oh yah!

Peter: Somebody is overly excited.

Susan: Hmm, I wonder who!

Lucy: *laugh* I just can't help it. I mean, here I thought you hated griffins but you were just keeping a surprise from me!

Aravis: Cor and Corin wish you a very happy birthday too.

Lucy: Thanks Cor and Corin!

Aravis: They're in the other room fighting (actually they are playing Wii boxing; Corin 'Thunderfist' is winning) (again!)

Peter: Sounds like fun. Maybe we should get a Wii! What do you think Ed?

Edmund: Ooooooh!

Susan: No.

Peter: Why not?

Susan: You have enough toys

Peter: What? I don't play with toys anymore.

Susan: You know what I mean!

Peter: Actually, I don't.

Susan: Never mind.

Aravis: My turns up; g2g.

Lucy: Okay, bye Aravis!

Aravis has left chat

Susan: That was nice of Aravis.

Peter: Yup

Lucy: *sigh* This is a nice birthday. Thanks everyone!

Susan: You're welcome, Lu!

Peter: Yup

Edmund: Peter!

Caspian X has entered chat

Peter: Whaaaat?

Susan: Ut oh! I'll be back in a bit. Bye!

Queen Susan has left chat

Edmund: Wait! Where is she going?

Peter: One word: Caspy

Caspian: Um, I'm not Caspy. I'm Casp_ian_ the Seafarer, also known as the Tenth.

Lucy: Ha ha! Susan! It's Caspian; not Caspy!

Caspian: Who is this Caspy?

Lucy: He calls himself 'Caspy the Fake'

Caspian: Ahh, I think I know him. He's my second cousin on my mother's side, twice removed (I think).

Peter: That explains the similar names

Caspian: Yes, well, Caspy starred in a movie about Narnia (it's called 'Prince Caspian'. I don't think you've heard of it). Anyway, in the movie, supposedly, he and "Susan" were in love and they kissed in the last scene.

Peter: Yah? Well, if I was there, that wouldn't have happened. The real Susan wouldn't have fallen for such a low-down, sneaky, greasy-haired scoundrel.

Caspian: How do you think I feel about it? He was supposed to be portraying _me_! Yikes! (BTW, I'm blond; not dark like in the movie)

Edmund: *yells* Susan, you can come back!

Queen Susan has entered chat

Lucy: You know, I think that should say 'Queen Susan has _re_-entered chat.

Peter: Agreed.

Susan: Is he gone?

Edmund: He never came, Su. This is Casp_ian_ the Tenth, also known as the Seafarer.

Caspian: *clears throat* Sorry about that, Queen Susan. I didn't mean to frighten you. And King Edmund, with all due respect, it is Caspian the Seafarer, also known as the Tenth.

Edmund: Sorry, chap!

Caspian: That's okay. I just wanted to give warm birthday wishes to her majesty, Queen Lucy.

Lucy: *beams* Thanks, Caspian!

Caspian: Now, I bid thee all farewell.

Lucy: Bye!

Peter: Bye, Caspian!

Caspian X has left chat

Susan: What nice manners he has!

Edmund: *rolls eyes*

Susan: What? He does!

Edmund: Never mind.

_To be continued..._

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note:<strong> Hope you enjoyed! Next chapter will continue Lucy's birthday chat. (I hope Mr. Tumnus remembers!) Until then, review! :)


	10. Gargoyle vs Argyle

**Author's note:** Here is the second part of Lucy's birthday chat. I hope you enjoy!

* * *

><p>LIVE CHAT (Lucy's Birthday Chat Continued)<p>

Peter: I wonder who the next person will be.

Susan: I have nooooooo idea.

Edmund: I'm a little teapot short and stout!

Susan: Edmund, please, don't sing that.

Edmund: Why?

Susan: Just don't.

Edmund: Okay. Here is my handle, here is my spout.

Susan: Edmund. I. Mean. It. STOP.

Peter: Ed, please stop.

Edmund: But why?

Susan: Don't ask.

Peter: (*deadly quiet whisper* Caspy)

Susan: *shudder* Don't even mention his name.

Lucy: What does he have to do with teapots?

Susan: I told you: he's a rockstar teapot freak!

Lucy: I still don't get it.

Susan: Fine. I'll explain. When I first met him, he introduced himself as a rockstar. Then he changed his mind and said he was a teapot!

Lucy: Weird.

Peter: That's what I said.

Edmund: Well, guess what I just found out.

Susan: What?

Peter: Is it dangerous?

Lucy: Is it a birthday present?

Peter: Does it smell good?

Edmund: Uh, no, Peter.

Lucy: Did Griffy bite you?

Peter: Did the Calormenes decided to stop taxing hot chocolate?

Lucy: Is Mr. Tumnus ill?

Peter: Did Caspy die?

Lucy: Did the Lady of the Green Kirtle hypnotize herself?

Peter: Did Lord Peridan wear gargoyle socks?

Susan: Peter, it's _argyle_! Not gargoyle!

Lucy: Did Caspy find his hairspray?

Peter: Did you buy yodeling finger puppets?

Susan: WHAT?

Peter: It's an exercise workout video, isn't it? Why are you convinced I'm fat?

Edmund: What? I don't think you're fat!

Peter: Then why did you buy a workout video?

Edmund: I never said I did!

Peter: Remember what happened when we almost called Jadis back and she made Caspian do lunges and I was stuck doing 157 squats?

Susan: Um, Peter, are you alright? I think you dreamed that.

Peter: No! It was for real. You wouldn't know because you were too busy fussing over your crybaby rockpot teastar freak.

Susan: What? That NEVER happened! Now you are alarming me! (And it's _rockstar teapot_ freak)

Peter: What was I talking about again?

Edmund: Uh, about you doing 157 squats?

Peter: Yes, right, thanks. Anyway…

Rilian has entered chat

Lucy: Oooooo, hi Rilian!

Rilian: Happy Birthday, my queen.

Lucy: *beams* Thanks!

Rilian: My nameless wife and my son, Erlian, also wish you a lovely birthday.

Peter: King Rilian! How nice of you to stop in!

Rilian: Thank you, your majesty.

Peter: You're very welcome. We were just talking about Jadis' torturous exercise workouts. Would you like to join us?

Rilian: Oh, um, well, I just wanted to wish Queen Lucy a happy birthday. I should be going. I have lots of things to do today. Farewell!

Rilian has left chat

Susan: Hmm, Peter, I think you frightened him away. Oh well.

Oreius had entered chat

Peter: Hello, Oreius!

Oreius: Hello, King Peter.

Edmund: Um, ah, I'll be right back.

Peter: Hang on, Ed. You stay right here.

Edmund: Darn.

Oreius: Happy birthday, my queen.

Lucy: Thank you very much, Oreius.

Oreius: That is on behalf of all of your loyal subjects and friends. Even Nikabrik and Maugrim wished you a happy birthday!

Lucy: Aww, that was nice of them. Tell them all thank you, please.

Oreius: I will, Queen Lucy. Now, I must return to my post. Farewell for now. (King Edmund, I will be watching you. I have eyes on the back of my head!)

Oreius has left chat

Edmund: Oooh, I'm _SO_ scared!

Peter: Edmund, quit being sarcastic.

Lucy: What did you do anyway?

Edmund: Nothing…much.

Susan: Well, Lu, it's nearly time for dinner. I think your birthday chat is over.

Lucy: Thanks so much! I love you! 3

Peter: Thanks, Lu!

Susan: We love you, too. (Edmund…)

Edmund: Okay, okay! I love you too, Lucy. (There! How was that?)

Lucy: *smile* Just perfect.

King Edmund has left chat

Queen Susan has left chat

Queen Lucy has left chat

Peter: Bu-but! Where did everyone go? I wasn't done yet!

Rabadash has entered chat

Peter: He he, I'm going to pound him!

Caspy the Fake has entered chat

Peter: Oooooh, I'm going to pound them both into smitherines! I sound very evil don't I?

Caspy: Hey Rab!

Rabadash: Yo, dude! What's up?

Caspy: Nothing much. Susie-Q still won't marry me.

Rabadash: I told you she is _my_ girl!

Caspy: Yah, yah, whatever.

Peter: *thinking* I am a master spy.

Rabadash: Did you say something weird?

Caspy: No, I thought you said that.

Rabadash: Hmm, weird. I bet it's my dad, the Tisroc, the delight of my eyes, may he live forever! Bah humbug.

Peter: Wrong story, Rabadash.

Rabadash: No, it's not! I know my own story.

Caspy: What?

Rabadash: I think my computer is messing up. I better go and check it out.

Caspy: Alright, dude.

Rabadash: Remember, whatever happens with our evil plan, Susan is MINE! Waahaahaa!

Caspy: CREEP! She's MY girl!

Rabadash: Yah, yah, whatever.

Rabadash has left chat

Caspy the Fake has left chat

Peter: How can they be SOOOOO incredibly stupid? It's obvious that Susan will NEVER marry either one of them and they can't take her by force. She'd kill them, or I'd kill them, or Edmund would kill them and if we didn't, Lucy would kill them! So there. And I wonder what their evil plan is? Ha–h'm.

King Peter has left chat

* * *

><p>From: The Lady of the Green Kirtle (talktothemist at evilvilain. com)<p>

To: Lucy

Subject: Birthday Wissshhhessss

Attachment: Birthday Musssic Sssspell

* * *

><p>Happy birthday, Lu lu!<p>

I created sssome very sssspecial ssssothing musssic for you, darrrrling.

Have a very hypnotizing day!

- The Lady of the Grrreen Kirrrtle

(You always spell my name wrong! It's Lady of the Grrreen Kirrrrtle; not Lady of the Green Kirtle)

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note: <strong>Ha ha ha! My favorite part was:

Peter: Did Lord Peridan wear gargoyle socks?

Susan: Peter, it's _argyle_! Not gargoyle!

And then:

Peter: Did you buy yodeling finger puppets?

He he! Anyway, I hope you laughed and enjoyed it. Thanks to all who reviewed!


	11. FRRREE SPA GETAWAY!

**Author's note: **Wow, tenth chapter! We hear from some characters in this chapter that we haven't heard from yet, (or in a long while). This is the beginning of the climax of the story. But even after the excitement in over I will still continue to write these. So don't worry!

I'm super excited today cause I won a couple prizes in a photography contest. So I'm a little hyped up! I hope you enjoy!

P.S. Remember, the Lady of the Green Kirtle send Lucy a spam message on the previous page.

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Lucy

Subject: Warning!

* * *

><p>Lu, don't open the email from the Lady of the Green Kirtle! It's very dangerous and could contain a major virus that could shut down our internet as well as our security system for weeks! Please don't touch it. I will delete it forever as soon as I get chance.<p>

- Ed

* * *

><p>From: Eustace<p>

To: Lucy

Subject: Sorry

* * *

><p>Hi Lucy,<p>

I'm very sorry I missed your birthday chat yesterday. Mr. Tumnus, Jill, the Beavers and I all tried to get on the internet, but it wasn't working. Maybe I should write to cousin Edmund and ask him to look into it. Someone has put up a HUGE tower for internet near Lantern Waste. It seems a bit suspicious. Anyway, happy birthday from me, Jill, Mr. Tumnus and the Beavers!

Your cousin, Eustace

* * *

><p>From: Lucy<p>

To: Eustace

Subject: RE: Sorry

* * *

><p>That's alright. I understand! You did miss out on a lot of fun though. How is Jill? And Professor Kirke? I hope they are well. Please tell Mr. Tumnus that I'll come visit him sometime this week.<p>

- Lucy the Valiant

P.S. That tower sounds very strange!

* * *

><p>From: Eustace<p>

To: Edmund

Subject: Problem

* * *

><p>Hullo, Edmund!<p>

We have been having problems with the internet in Lantern Waste. It seems that somewhere installed a HUGE tower, and they're blocking our signal. Could you look into it?

Thanks,

Eustace

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Eustace

Subject: RE: Problem

* * *

><p>Yes, Eustace. I will have it looked into right away. We've been having problems with viruses. The Lady of the Green – I mean, Grrreen Kirrrtle has been messing with Lucy. Take care, and I will look into the problem. A huge tower, you say? That's strange. Are you sure it's not just the dwarves? They are practically addicted to Angry Centaurs and other games. Trumpkin won't admit it, but I think he spends most of his time on the internet. I wonder what his bill is like...<p>

Take care, cousin.

- Edmund

* * *

><p>From: Jill (dontmesswiththedress at cairparavel. gov)<p>

To: Peter

Subject: Emergency!

* * *

><p>King Peter!<p>

Eustace is missing! I don't know what to do. He went to investigate the mysterious tower near the Lamppost and didn't return. I'm awful worried that something bad happened to him. He should have been back yesterday!

- Jill Pole

* * *

><p>From: Peter<p>

To: Jill

Subject: RE: Emergency

* * *

><p>I'm afraid I have bad tidings as well. Not only is Eustace missing, but the Lady of the Green Kirtle has discovered our security system password. Now she can control the whole system. Plus, Susan's email account has been hijacked! Don't open any emails you receive from her, please. They could contain a virus. Be extra careful out there, Jill.<p>

- Peter

P.S. Please, just call me Peter. No need for formalities in an email.

* * *

><p>From: Peter<p>

To: Oreius; Reepicheep; Glenstorm;

Subject: Alert

* * *

><p>Soldiers of Narnia,<p>

I'm afraid I have evil tidings. Our security system has been broken into and things are getting out of hand quickly. Oreius, I would like you to double the guard around the castle. Anything could be lurking out there. Glenstorm, watch for suspicious behavior inside the castle as well. They have our information and could easily penetrate Oreius's defenses. Reepicheep, I want you and your mice to guard the Queens. I don't want any harm coming to them. I would especially like you to guard Queen Susan as I think this will involve her. Caspy the Fake or Rabadash might try to carry her off while we are occupied with the Lady of the Green Kirtle's schemes.

Thank you for your understanding, loyal support and help.

- King Peter

* * *

><p>From: The Lady of the Green Kirtle<p>

To: Aravis (fashiontarheena at anvard. gov)

Subject: FRRRREE SPA GETAWAY!

* * *

><p>Arravis darrrling,<p>

Why don't you get away frrrom the strrress of castle life and come visssit the Botanical Sssnake Ssspa. You deserrrve relaxation, away from Corrr and Corrrin. Join me in our little secrrret hideaway.

Waiting rrrrespectively,

The Lady of the Grrreen Kirrrtle

* * *

><p>From: Aravis<p>

To: The Lady of the Green Kirtle

Subject: RE: FRRREE SPA GETAWAY!

* * *

><p>It sounds simply marvelous! Of course,<p>

I shall come. Who cares about old Cor anyway! He can run his kingdom alone. I'll meet you outside the castle this afternoon.

- Aravis

P.S. Why do you talk funny? You always put WAY too many r's and s's. Maybe you should avoid the snakes or something.

* * *

><p>From: Cor<p>

To: Peter

Subject: Aravis

* * *

><p>King Peter,<p>

Aravis is missing! She left three days ago for some spa retreat. She said she was going with Lasaraleen. She left her email pulled up and I saw an email from the Lady of the Green Kirtle. She invited Aravis to the spa! I didn't think Aravis would be foolish enough to agree but it seems that the Kirtle has tricked her. I don't know what to do and I had heard that Eustace had disappeared as well. Maybe you know something that could help?

- Prince Cor

* * *

><p>From: Susan<p>

To: Digory (stillknocking at wardrobe. com)

Subject: Awesome website!

* * *

><p>Hey! You should check this website out. There's this really hot guy named Caspy the Fake. He's SOOOOOO dreamy! Look at his picture. *squeal* I LOVE him! 3<p>

Madly in love,

Queen Susan

Here's the link: www. evilvilian. com/caspy-the-fake

* * *

><p>From: Digory<p>

To: Peter

Subject: Susan

* * *

><p>Peter, are you quite sure Susan is alright? She sent me an email about this website, it was or something. It seems a bit fishy. But she acted like she was in love with this Caspy fellow. What is going on?<p>

- Digory Kirke, Professor

P.S. Still no sign of Eustace. Jill is get very worried. Poor girl. I think she loves him more than she realizes.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note:<strong> A little Eustace/Jill fluff there. :) Don't forget that Susan's email account was hijacked and that she really doesn't like Caspy the Fake. Please review!


	12. Edmund to the Rescue!

**Author's note: **Hey everyone! Sorry I haven't updated in a while, but most of you know what time of year it is: finals. :( Ug. :) Things are pretty busy for me right now as I study up to take a C.L.E.P. test. But here is another chapter staring our favorite Pevensies and their friends plus our favorite villians, Caspy the Fake, Prince Rabadash and the Lady of the Green - pardon - Lady of the Grrreen Kirrrtle.

* * *

><p>From: Peter<p>

To: Cor

Subject: RE: Aravis

* * *

><p>Prince Cor,<p>

I'm very sorry to hear about Aravis, but I'm afraid I can't do anything right now. We have no lead on Eustace. Poor Jill is beside herself with worry. I think that the Lady of the Green Kirtle, Caspy the Fake and Prince Rabadash of Calormen are in cahoots with each other. I suspect that Caspy and Rabadash are plotting to capture Susan while our security system is down. These are dangerous times. If I find out anything about Eustace or Aravis, I will let you know immediately.

-King Peter of Narnia

* * *

><p>From: Cor<p>

To: Peter

Subject: RE: Aravis

* * *

><p>King Peter,<p>

Thank you for your information and time. This situation is becoming very dangerous.

- Cor, Prince of Archenland

* * *

><p>From: Rabadash<p>

To: Peter

Subject: Inside Info

* * *

><p>Greetings O Most Noble King of Narnia,<p>

For a small sum, I may tell you secret information concerning the Lady of the Green Kirtle and the disappearance of Eustace the Undragoned and Aravis Tarkeena. It shall only cost you a small, unworthy sum. It is something very little that I doubt you care much about. I shall tell you the inside secrets if you will give to me in marriage, your sister, O Her Majesty, the Most Beautiful, Most Clever, Most Renowned, Queen Susan the Gentle.

Waiting patiently,

O Enlightened Prince Rabadash, Heir of the Calormene throne

* * *

><p>From: Peter<p>

To: Rabadash

Subject: RE: Inside Info

* * *

><p>Prince Rabadash,<p>

I am insulted that you would think that my sister was of little importance to me. She means a great deal to me and I would never just give her away to someone she doesn't love. And even if she did, I would make sure he was a respectable person, unlike yourself, who are frequently seen mingling with evil persons. We have reason to believe that you work with Caspy the Fake and the Lady of the Green Kirtle. I am warning you: leave my family and my kingdom alone or you will pay the consequences. If you harm my sister, or even lay eyes on her, Narnia will rise to the defense of her queen and you will be no match for her. Not even if you are able to cross the desert with your inferior armies.

- High King Peter the Magnificent, Emperor of the Lone Islands, Lord of Cair Paravel, Knight of the Most Noble Order of the Lion

* * *

><p>From: Eustace<p>

To: Edmund

Subject: Help!

* * *

><p>Edmund,<p>

Please help me! I've been taken by Caspy the Fake who is holding me in his hideout which is covered with pictures of your sister. I snuck on his computer to send this email. But he may be back any minute. Here is how to find me: go to the Lantern Waste and find the giant tower. Next, there is a trapdoor leading underneath. Follow the passage until you come- Oh no, he's back. Bye.

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Eustace

Subject: RE: Help!

Eustace! It's such a relief to hear from you. We've been pretty worried about you. And no one knew where you were! Try to finish the directions a.s.a.p. I'll head out with a group to find you in a day or so. Hang on until then.

- Edmund

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Peter; Jill; Lucy; Susan; Digory; Cor

Subject: Eustace

* * *

><p>Good news, everyone! I just received an email from Eustace. He's alive, thank Aslan. He is being held by Caspy the Fake in a secret hideaway. He snuck on Caspy's computer to write but he didn't finish his directions on how to find him. I and a few others will be heading out towards Lantern Waste tomorrow to search for him.<p>

Best wishes,

King Edmund

* * *

><p>From: Jill<p>

To: Edmund

Subject: RE: Eustace

* * *

><p>Oh King Edmund. Thank you so much! I'm so glad he's alright. Please let me go with you to find him. I couldn't stand to be left behind. Mrs. Beaver says to meet at their house. She'll have a good meal ready for you before you head out.<p>

- Jill

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Jill

Subject: RE: Eustace

* * *

><p>Dear Jill,<p>

I am very glad to have heard from Eustace as well. Tell Mrs. Beaver that her offer sounds wonderful. Expect about ten of us. Yes, I suppose you can come along. I understand how you feel and I think you should go with us. But try not to get into trouble and if any fighting starts, stay out of it. Caspy could be very dangerous.

- Edmund

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note: <strong>That's all for now! I'll get a change to write more once finals are over. :)


	13. Txt Msngng

**Author's note: **Hey everyone! I'm back! And my finger is almost as good as new. I hope you enjoy this new chapter in which Lucy does some pleading, Eustace starts texting and you discover the technology of Narnia! :)

* * *

><p>From: Susan<p>

To: Peter

Subject: Safety

* * *

><p>Peter,<p>

Do you think it is safe for Lucy and I? Should we go to Archenland and stay with the King until this is over? I'm a little concerned for Lucy's safety. But I don't want to leave you and Edmund here.

Your sister, Susan

P.S. Is there any news of Aravis?

* * *

><p>From: Peter<p>

To: Susan

Subject: RE: Safety

* * *

><p>Dear Su,<p>

I understand your concern completely. I think the trip over the pass to Archenland is sure to cause much excitement. Therefore, I think we should avoid it, as surely news would reach the ears of our foes. Reepicheep and his mice have been specially assigned to protect you and Lucy during this time.

Your brother, Peter

P.S. In answer to your question: no. We have not heard anything of Aravis.

* * *

><p>From: Eustace<p>

To: Peter; Edmund; Susan; Lucy; Jill

Subject: Hurry up!

* * *

><p>Where r u guys? R u comin 2morrow? Iv ben waitin 4ever!<p>

- Eustace

* * *

><p>From: Lucy<p>

To: Eustace

Subject: Message

* * *

><p>Eustace, why is your spelling so bad? I could barely understand what you meant!<p>

- Cousin Lucy

* * *

><p>From: Eustace<p>

To: Lucy

Subject: RE: Message

* * *

><p>Textin. Caspy got new iPhone. I stol it. Awesome. Lol. R u comin?<p>

-Eustace

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Eustace

Subject: RE: Hurry up!

* * *

><p>Yes, Eustace. We are coming to rescue you. Jill is coming along as well. I can't give you the exact details. But keep your ears and eyes open for news.<p>

Your cousin, Edmund

P.S. Bring Caspy's iPhone when we save you. I'd like to check it for secret info.

* * *

><p>From: Lucy<p>

To: Edmund

Subject: Um…

* * *

><p>Hey Ed!<p>

Well, I was wondering… I know you don't like me in danger and I know you probably won't agree but… Can I PLEASE come with you to rescue Eustace? I'll be really extra careful. Please Ed? You'll be my favorite brother if you do (hint hint).

Your dearest Lu

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Lucy

Subject: RE: Um…

* * *

><p>Umm… No, Lu. Sorry. I don't think it's a good idea and it's definitely not safe. You need to stay here with Susan under Peter's protection where Caspy can't get you.<p>

- Ed

P.S. You can't bribe me with that favorite brother stuff.

* * *

><p>From: Lucy<p>

To: Edmund

Subject: RE: Um…

* * *

><p>Oh, come on, Ed! Jill gets to go! What about her protection? Hmm? What if I asked Peter? You'd have to let me go then if he agreed.<p>

- A very indignant Queen Lucy

P.S. Yes I can bribe you!

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Lucy

Subject: RE: Um…

* * *

><p>Oh, like Peter is going to agree that his baby sister can go rescue Eustace and attack Caspy!<p>

- Edmund the Ju (Oh, never mind.)

* * *

><p>From: Lucy<p>

To: Edmund

Subject: RE: Um…

* * *

><p>And why wouldn't he? Hmm?<p>

- Lu

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Lucy

Subject: RE: Um…

* * *

><p>Lucy!<p>

* * *

><p>From: Lucy<p>

To: Edmund

Subject: Um…

* * *

><p>Very persistent, aren't I? I think I'll go ask him right now. Goodbye, Ed.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note: <strong>LOL! Lucy is up to some mischief. Poor Ed. He's in for it with messing with Lucy Pevensie's infamous stubborness. I wonder what Peter will say... Should he agree?


	14. Darrrling, Corrr and Corrrin

**Author's note:** Well, I'm back! Did you miss me? Doubt it. For those of you following "Airplanes in the Night Sky" as well as this story, there is a new chapter up!

In this chapter of "Their_Majesties at Cair Paravel. gov" we finally hear from Aravis. And we also find out if Lucy gets to help rescue Eustace. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

><p>LIVE CHAT<p>

Queen Lucy has entered chat

King Edmund has entered chat

King Peter has entered chat

Lucy: Peter, can I please go with Edmund to rescue Eustace from Caspy? Jill is going! I promise to stay out of trouble! Please?

Edmund: Don't let her. I already told her no.

Peter: Lucy, I don't think it matters what I say because I know you will go anyway.

Edmund: Not again.

Peter: Now Lu, I would prefer that you stay here with Susan. But… I know you will go anyway. So I'll agree. Yes, you may go.

Lucy: WOOHOO! LOVE YOU, PETER!

Edmund: WHAT? PETER! I am NOT taking her!

Peter: Yes, Edmund, you're taking her.

Edmund: Then I'm not going.

Peter: Alright. Lucy, you can lead the rescue.

Edmund NO! Fine, I'm going.

Lucy: And you'll take me with?

Edmund: Yes…ug.

Peter: That's my King Edmund! Always Just!

Edmund: You don't have to rub it in, Pete.

Lucy: What will Susan say?

Peter: She'll be fine. She doesn't want to go. She's too creeped out about Caspy the Fake.

Lucy: Evil man. *shudder*

Peter: Well, you two better go get ready. You leave tomorrow, two hours after dawn. Right, Ed?

Edmund: Yes. Whatever.

Peter: Now Ed

Edmund: Don't you "Now Ed" me!

Peter: Fine. I see how it is.

Lucy: Enough! Or do I have to go get Orieus?

Edmund: Nope. Bye.

King Edmund has left chat

Peter: Despicable.

Lucy: Peter, watch yourself.

Peter: You're right, Lu. I'll go apologize after he cools off a bit. Goodbye!

Lucy: Bye!

King Peter has left chat

Queen Susan has entered chat

Susan: Hello, Lu! Why is Ed in a flurry?

Lucy: Peter agreed that I could go with Ed to rescue Eustace. Edmund doesn't want to take me.

Susan: Well, I don't thoroughly approve of it, but I won't keep you back. Just be careful. Caspy and the Lady of the Green Kirtle are capable of anything.

Lucy: I know. Thanks for your concern, Su. But really, I think you should be more worried about your safety. Caspy or Rabadash could carry you off!

Susan: I was concerned about that so I talked to Peter. He said not to worry. Reepicheep and his mice are especially assigned to protect you and me. Isn't that right, Reep?

Reepicheep the Mouse has entered chat

Reepicheep: What, your majesty?

Susan: Oh, we were just commenting on how brave you are - protecting me and Lucy and all.

Reepicheep: Why thank you, your majesty. That is most gracious of your highness.

Susan: Thank you, kind knight.

Reepicheep: If you will excuse me, your highnesses, I must return to my duties.

Lucy: Goodbye Reepicheep!

Reepicheep: Farewell, my Queen.

Reepicheep has left chat

Susan: Lucy dear, I'm afraid I must be going as well. I need to help Edmund prepare for your journey tomorrow.

Lucy: Alright, Su! I should get ready as well.

Susan: See you at dinner!

Queen Susan has left chat

Queen Lucy has left chat

* * *

><p>From: The Lady of the Green Kirtle<p>

To: Prince Cor; Peter; Edmund

Subject: Ransssom

* * *

><p>Grreetings, your Majessties,<p>

I have had the pleasurre of entertaining your darrrling friend, Arravis. Since she wouldn't rrreveal the secrrets of your countries, I was going to kill herr. But then, I rrremembered his highness, Prrince Corrr. If you carrre about Arravis, you will give me all that I assk.

- The Lady of the Grreen Kirrtle

* * *

><p>From: Prince Cor<p>

To: The Lady of the Green Kirtle

Subject: RE: Ransssom

* * *

><p>How dare you do this, you witch! Free Aravis at once! As the Crown Prince of Archenland, I will not stand for this outrage. Return Aravis or you will pay.<p>

- Prince Cor of Archenland

* * *

><p>From: The Lady of the Green Kirtle<p>

To: Prince Cor;

Subject: RE: Ransssom

* * *

><p>Quite a firrey disposition there now, don't you think? Now Corr, darrrling, give me what I want and Arravis is yours. But refuse me again, and you shall neverrr seen your darrrling frrriend again. I won't say I didn't warrrn you.<p>

- The Lady of the Grreen Kirrtle

* * *

><p>From: Prince Cor<p>

To: The Lady of the Green Kirtle

Subject: RE: Ransssom

* * *

><p>Alright, I give in – but ONLY to save Aravis! Name your price. I shall pay it in full when you return Aravis, alive and well. Do not think of cheating behind my back. Beware. The wrath of Archenland is unstoppable. And I'm sure that Narnia would readily join with us. Choose wisely, you witch!<p>

- Prince Cor of Archenland

P.S. As a warning, my royal brother Corin is ready to lay his fists on you the moment you try anything sneaky. He will forget the fact that you are a lady and give you a beating you aren't likely to forget.

* * *

><p>From: The Lady of the Green Kirtle<p>

To: Prince Cor;

Subject: RE: Ransssom

Attachment: Arravis Ransssom

* * *

><p>Was that a threat, little prince? I do not fear your scrawny little brother. I shall do as I please. As for that girrrl, Arravis: she is getting to be quite a bother. If you do not hurry up, I think I may have to dispose of her myself. I'm sure there are several ancient Tarkaans in Tashbaan who would love to have the pretty little maid for a wife. Consider carefully!<p>

- The Lady of the Grreen Kirrtle

P.S. The price is in the attachment.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note: <strong>Thanks for reading! Please review!


	15. iPhone 352

**Author's Note:** Hello Everyone! Here's my last chapter before I leave on my trip to Honduras. Hope you've been enjoying the story! Be prepared for hilariousness.

* * *

><p>LIVE CHAT<p>

King Peter has entered chat

Peter: Edmund? Are you on? Testing.

King Edmund has entered chat

Edmund: All set, Peter?

Sent from my iPad

Peter: Yep. Susan is here too and Reepicheep is perched on my desk as well. Where are you?

Edmund: At the base of that huge tower near the Lamppost.

Sent from my iPad

Peter: Oh, I see. How many men (and girls) did you bring?

Edmund: There are eleven soldiers plus myself, Lucy and Jill. Oh, and a basket of food for Eustace. Mrs. Beaver sent it. Though, I don't know if it will make it. Her cinnamon rolls are delicious! We arrived just in time for breakfast, you see.

Sent from my iPad

Peter: Oh, I see. Now forget about cinnamon rolls. You are on a very important mission. FOCUS, EDMUND!

Sent from my iPad

Edmund: Yes, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, PETER! I'm not that unintelligent.

Sent from my iPad

Peter: Susan says, "Boys! Cut it out! You're trying to rescue Eustace for goodness sakes."

Edmund: Thanks, Su.

Sent from my iPad

Peter: Welcome. (For Su.)

Edmund: Aha! I have found the entrance. We're going in to rescue Eustace!

Sent from my iPad

Peter: Well done, Ed! Look out for the girls, please.

Edmund: Aye aye, Captain High King Sir!

Sent from my iPad

Peter: _Edmund!_

Edmund: What?

Sent from my iPad

Peter: Nevermind.

Edmund: Woah! Lucy, come back! PETER! This is why I don't bring Lucy with. She just ran right into Caspy's lair. Oh, now she's shouting.

Peter: What's she shouting about?

Edmund: She is shocked at all the pictures of our dear sister, Susan, that are pasted to all the walls and furniture. How shocking!

Peter: Susan is completely and utterly disgusted with this Caspy fellow. I sincerely hope he is punished.

Edmund: He he. I think I know how to punish him!

Sent from my iPad

Peter: How?

Edmund: Not telling! Ha.

Sent from my iPad

Peter: Not fair!

Edmund: Oh! Eustace! There you are!

Peter: Yay! You found Eustace! What about Caspy?

Edmund: Eustace is fine, a little hungry. That's all. He ate all the cinnamon rolls in two bites! :( Eustace says that Caspy is out right now.

Sent from my iPad

Peter: So how will you punish him?

Edmund: Ha ha. I will destroy all his pictures of Susan and steal is iphone!

Sent from my iPad

Peter: Okay, Edmund. Whatever you like. (Weirdo!)

Edmund: Hey! It's a very good plan!

Sent from my iPad

Peter: Whatever.

Edmund: Jill and Lucy are tearing down all the pictures. Oooo! What's this? WHAT! Since when did we endorse Tumnus Toothpaste?

Sent from my iPad

Peter: Tumnus Toothpaste? What are you talking about, Edmund?

Edmund: Oh nevermind. We'll be back at the Cair by tonight. I'm signing out!

Sent from my iPad

Peter: Until then, my crazy brother.

Edmund: Hey!

Sent from my iPad

King Peter has left chat

Edmund: Bye!

Sent from my iPad

King Edmund has left chat

* * *

><p>LIVE CHAT<p>

Caspy the Fake has entered chat

Prince Rabadash has entered chat

Rabadash: How did that kid escape?!

Caspy: Um, well, the Pevensies _are his _cousins after all.

Rabadash: So?

Caspy: SO! He took my brand new iPhone 352!

Rabadash: Look dude, IT'S AN IPHONE FOR GOODNESS SAKES! Buy a new one for all I care.

Caspy: Anyway, I was thinking… what if I give you my iPod if you let Susan be my girl.

Rabadash: Yah right! I get Susan. You can have her sister or Eustace's girl.

Caspy: *pout* Why can't you have them? I want Susan.

Rabadash: I thought you wanted a new iPhone 352!

Caspy: Well, yah. But I love Susan more.

Rabadash: Uhuh.

Caspy: Serious here, man. And guess what else!

Rabadash: Um, they took your bubblegum?

Caspy: I don't eat bubblegum! They took my entire collection of special edition Queen Susan the Gentle popcorn containers!

Rabadash: This is just getting weird.

Caspy: They stole and burned all my pictures of Susan, too! I can't believe it!

Rabadash: Are you crying?

Caspy: Um, maybe.

Rabadash: How unmanly! I think I'm going to go. Bye.

Caspy: What? Wait!

Prince Rabadash has left chat

Caspy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Caspy the Fake has left chat

* * *

><p>From: Peter<p>

To: Edmund

Subject: Aravis's Abduction

* * *

><p>Edmund,<p>

Thank you for your work regarding Eustace's rescue, but now I believe we should help Prince Cor save Aravis. The Lady of the Green Kirtle is asking for a ridiculous ransom. I'll paste it in below.

Your brother, Peter

P.S. Sorry for calling you a weirdo yesterday.

The Kirtle's demands:

34 Bottles of Narrowhaven Wine

30 Maids wearing green kirtles

15 Buttlers with green ties

45 snakes – preferably green

5 horses with green manes

14 Mandolin strings

20 Packets of Hypnotizing Powder

5 Special Edition White Witch Wall-Hangings (size: LARGE!)

7 Strands of King Peter's Hair dyed green (Peter: This is just ridiculous! Not my precious hair dyed _green_!)

8 Cackle-green Nail polish

15 Earth-scented perfume

23 Snake Spa Gift cards

250 Earthmen Lightbulbs

57 Stolen Prince Hair Dye

63 Forked Tongue Breathmints

385 Avocado Sandwiches (Kirtle: Rilly Dilly _loves_ avocado!)

5 Snake Scaled Hairbrushes

589 Dilly Bars for Rilly

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Peter

Subject: RE: Aravis's Abduction

* * *

><p>Hullo Peter!<p>

The Kirtle's wishes are preposterous! Can you imagine demanding all that _stuff_! Forked Tongue Breathmints? White Witch Wall-Hangings? Really? There must be a better way to save Aravis. But I'm still thinking. Got any ideas?

- Ed

P.S. That's alright, chap! (Weirdo, yourself! Ha!)

* * *

><p><strong>AN:**Hope you laughed cause I did! Credit goes to my sister for helping me come up with things on the Kirtle's list. And also I give credit for Tumnus Toothpaste to whoever thought that up on The Lion's Call website. But I made up and own the Special Edition Queen Susan the Gentle Popcorn Containers. I'll give out virtual free ones for all who review! Ha ha! See you when I return!


	16. Tasty Tube of Tumnus Toothpaste

**Author's note: **Hello finally! Sorry I haven't updated in so long! It's been a busy few weeks and I have had some Fanfiction issues regarding this story. I have some frustrating news to share with you. A member on here review my last chapter very abruptly demanding that I change all the "live chats" due to Fanfiction rules (which states that no "chat script" is allowed) and unless I change it, he/she will report this story for abuse – which is not at all what I am intending. I did not realize that was in the rules and I never intended to break them. The "chats" were only put in that format for humor. I have written to Fanfiction about the issue and wait for further news. So until then, I will have to work around the chats. Therefore, I am not sure how the future chapters of this story will look. I will try to keep updating as much as possible, but if you suddenly find you can't find this story, you can know that that specific member has reported the story for abuse and it has been removed because there is no possible way I could rewrite any of the previous "chats." How else could Lucy's birthday celebration take place? Or how would we know how Eustace was rescued? I am not sure how this will affect the future but I wanted to let you know. Now, this has been a very long author's note and I am sure you wish to get on with the story. :) Enjoy! Oh, and I'm not exactly sure how old Prince Cor is because if he is like 19 then Peter would be like what? 30 something? I don't know how the whole age scheme in this story works! Just read it and enjoy it!

* * *

><p>From: Peter<p>

To: Prince Cor

Subject: Aravis and the Kirtle

* * *

><p>Hello Prince Cor!<p>

Edmund and I have looked the Kirtle's list over. You are right. It is enormous! We're trying to come up with a plan. Now that Caspy the Fake has been handled and Eustace rescued, we have more time to help you. But I fear we haven't seen the last of Caspy nor Rabadash. I will contact you when our plan is finished. Edmund should have it done by Saturday night.

- King Peter

* * *

><p>From: Prince Cor<p>

To: King Peter

Subject: RE: Aravis and the Kirtle

* * *

><p>Thank you so much, King Peter! It is a great relief to know that Aravis shall soon be rescued. Please thank King Edmund for me as well. I don't know how the kingdom of Archenland shall ever repay you!<p>

- Prince Cor

* * *

><p>From: Peter<p>

To: Edmund

Subject: Plans

* * *

><p>Ed,<p>

How is the plan for Aravis's rescue coming along? Is Lucy staying out of your hair?

- Peter

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Peter

Subject: RE: Plans

* * *

><p>Hello Pete!<p>

Lucy really isn't much help currently. Eustace has been the most annoying though. Are you sure we couldn't have just left him with Caspy the Fake? I'm a little stumped on the plan.

- Ed

* * *

><p>From: Peter<p>

To: Edmund

Subject: RE: RE: Plans

* * *

><p>There's no pressure about the plan. After all, it's only Aravis in the hands of the Lady of the Green – I mean, Grrreen Kirrrtle who is threatening to kill her if she doesn't receive the ransom! So, yah, no pressure!<p>

- Peter

P.S. No, we couldn't have left Eustace. Then Caspy would still have that disturbing collection of Special Edition Queen Susan the Gentle Popcorn Containers! Oh, and that tasty tube of Tumnus Toothpaste! It makes my breath smell spicy.

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Peter

Subject: RE: RE: Plans

* * *

><p>Your breath is spicy? What are you talking about? I can't believe you're actually using that stuff! I find it slightly disturbing that Mr. Tumnus has been marketing toothpaste that he makes with his grandmother's recipe. I always wondered why his teeth were so white. I guess we know why now!<p>

- Edmund

P.S. No pressure, huh? Ha! Yah right!

* * *

><p>From: Peter<p>

To: Edmund

Subject: RE: RE: Plans

* * *

><p>Seriously, Ed. My breath smells amazing! Just ask Lord Peridan! He privately asked what kind of toothpaste I used.<p>

Please get the plans done! I know you are trying your best, but I'm afraid the Lady of the Grrreen Kirrrtle is getting too impatient. Cor and Aravis are counting on us. Please try to think, Edmund!

Awaiting your response and plans,

Peter

P.S. After you finish the plans, email them to me, I'll check them and then send them on to Prince Cor.

* * *

><p>From: Prince Cor<p>

To: Peter

Subject: Any Ideas Yet?

* * *

><p>Hello King Peter,<p>

I do not mean to seem impatient, but is the plan nearly ready? I'm becoming very worried about Aravis. There has been no new news from the Lady of the Green Kirtle. What do you think she is up to?

I must also tell you some news of consequence that I am trusting to you in the upmost faith that you will keep them secret until the time I wish to reveal them. I know it seems kind of rash, but when Aravis returns, I intend to ask her to marry me. Do you think I am being a fool? I trust your opinion completely, King Peter, so please be frank with me.

- Cor

From: Peter

* * *

><p>To: Prince Cor<p>

Subject: RE: Any Ideas Yet?

* * *

><p>Well, Prince Cor! I suppose I should have suspected this far sooner. Are you sure you are ready for this? And what if she should choose to reject you? I'm sure you have been thinking very seriously about this and I recommend talking to your father if you haven't already. However, in my opinion, I do believe Aslan has ordained this. Otherwise, why would Aravis have even escaped from Calormen, let alone with you! His Providence is strongly visible in this. Don't worry; we'll find a way to rescue Aravis. It's all part of His plans.<p>

Sincerely,

King Peter

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note:<strong> Thanks for reading! I hope to have more sometime! Any ideas for Aravis's rescue without it being a "live chat"? PLEASE let me know! I need more ideas! Thank you again and I hope you review.


	17. Anti-Caspy Gun

**Author's note: **Here's the next chapter! Hope you enjoy it. P.S. Any ideas yet for Aravis's rescue? Only two reviews on the last chapter, but they didn't have an ideas.

* * *

><p>From: Caspy the Fake (rockstartelmarine )<p>

To: Rabadash (handsomeprince )

Subject: Dreams

* * *

><p>Hey Rab!<p>

You won't believe this amazing dream I had last night! I dreamed that Susan and I were walking in a field of gold. She had on the most beautiful gown of amethyst. Her eyes twinkled in the star light. And then, I asked her to marry me. She opened her stunning red lips to answer and then I got hit on the head with a piece of giant popcorn! What's that supposed to mean? I've very confuzzled and I hope you can help.

Your partner in crime,

Caspy the Fake

P.S. Octy says hi! (Oh, he's my pet octopus, in case you forgot.)

* * *

><p>From: Rabadash<p>

To: Caspy

Subject: RE: Dreams

* * *

><p>Caspy,<p>

I find your dream somewhat disturbing and several questions rose in my brilliant mind. One, how do you even know what amethyst is? Two, why in Calormen (or Telmar, in your case) would you dare ask my Susan to marry you? CREEP! How many times do I have to inform you and your thick brain that she is mine and she will be marrying me! And me only! I am disgusted with you.

- O Enlightened Prince Rabadash, Heir to the Calormene Throne

* * *

><p>From: Caspy<p>

To: Rabadash

Subject: RE: Dreams

* * *

><p>Well, Rab! If that's the way you feel about my dream, then I'll just have to crash yours. Have fun explaining yourself out of this mess. Octy is threatening to squeeze you to death if you don't renounce your claim on my precious Susan at once. I no longer consider you my friend or even acquaintance. You can forget our deal, as I see you had no intention of keeping your part of the bargain. I'm done with you!<p>

- Caspy the Fake, Heir of Nothing, Most Dedicated Lover of Her Majesty, Queen Susan of the Horn, also known as Queen Susan the Gentle

* * *

><p>From: Rabadash<p>

To: Caspy

Subject: RE: Dreams

* * *

><p>Renounce my claim? Never. You are more a fool than I thought. Don't think that you will get away with this outrage unscathed!<p>

- O Handsome Prince Rabadash of Calormen, heir to the Calormene throne

* * *

><p>From: Caspy<p>

To: Rabadash

* * *

><p>Subject: RE: RE: Dreams<p>

Oh yah! I dare you to try.

- Caspy

* * *

><p>From: Rabadash<p>

To: Caspy

Subject: RE: RE: Dreams

* * *

><p>Alright, I will. You'll be sorry!<p>

- Rabadash

* * *

><p>From: Caspy<p>

To: Rabadash

Subject: RE: RE: Dreams

* * *

><p>Make me!<p>

* * *

><p>From: Rabadash<p>

To: Caspy

Subject: RE: RE: Dreams

* * *

><p>You'll beg for mercy.<p>

* * *

><p>From: Caspy<p>

To: Rabadash

Subject: RE: RE: RE: Dreams

* * *

><p>Ya? Not likely.<p>

* * *

><p>From: Rabadash<p>

To: Caspy

Subject: RE: RE: RE: Dreams

* * *

><p>Well, we'll just see.<p>

* * *

><p>From: Caspy<p>

To: Rabadash

Subject: RE: RE: RE: Dreams

* * *

><p>Yes, we'll see, won't we? Loser!<p>

* * *

><p>From: Rabadash<p>

To: Caspy

Subject: RE: RE: RE: Dreams

* * *

><p>You're the loser.<p>

* * *

><p>From: Caspy the Fake<p>

To: King Peter

Subject: Prince Rabadash of Calormen

* * *

><p>Greetings, King Peter the Magnificent, Benevolent Ruler of Narnia!<p>

I would like to provide you with information concerning my former friend and colleague Prince Rabadash of Calormen. I know that your countries have an ancient history of hostility towards each other. Perhaps I can tempt you to move into action. It will only cost you a very small sum and I shall tell you all the secrets of Rabadash. Did you know that he sleeps upside-down and wears his socks inside out? Once he fell off his horse because he kicked it so hard it reared. He is not known as a kind horseman. You especially wouldn't want him to marry your beautiful sister, Queen Susan the Gentle, because he might hurt her. I could give you the information you need to protect her! Maybe you could build some sort of anti-Rabadash gun? Please let me know your instructive and wise thoughts.

Sincerely,

Caspy the Fake

* * *

><p>From: Rabadash<p>

To: King Peter

Subject: Caspy the Fake

* * *

><p>May the Great Lion whom you worship bless you and give you wisdom beyond your years, O Great High King of Narnia, whom they call Peter the Magnificent, greetings! My warmest regards to your family, especially the Most Renowned, Most Beautiful, Most Gifted, Queen Susan the Gentle.<p>

I wish to speak to you on a matter of business. Caspy the Fake, my former partner in schemes of wicked sorts, has turned against me, and perhaps has turned you, Great and Benevolent King, against me as well. I would have you know that that scoundrel, who calls himself Caspy the Fake, is a liar and deserving of severe punishment, greater than the one your royal brother, O Esteemed King Edmund the Just, gave him by destroying his pictures of your stunning sister, Queen Susan the Gentle, by taking his iphone 352, and finally capturing his hoarded collection of Special Edition Queen Susan the Gentle Popcorn Containers, which I have good reason to believe, he regularly dreams about. At least, he has privately confessed to me of having bizarre dreams of your sister, Queen Susan the Gentle, wearing amethyst dresses and receiving concussions from giant popcorn falling from the air. However, I beg you to deal harsher with him in the terms he deserves.

Your humble servant, O Enlightened Prince Rabadash of Calormen, Heir to the Calormene Throne

* * *

><p>From: Peter<p>

To: Edmund

Subject: Caspy & Rabadash

* * *

><p>Dear Ed,<p>

I have just received two disturbing yet helpful emails from Caspy the Fake and Prince Rabadash of Calormen. I'm forwarding them to you. Let me know what you think!

Your brother,

Peter

(Or should I say, O Great and Benevolent High King of Narnia, whom they call Peter the Magnificent)

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Peter

Subject: RE: Caspy & Rabadash

* * *

><p>Peter,<p>

An anti-Rabadash gun? That actually doesn't sound too bad! Maybe we could have an anti-Caspy gun as well. It can't hurt anything to try! What do you say, O Great Brother of Mine?

O Brilliant King Edmund the Just of Narnia

* * *

><p>From: Peter<p>

To: Edmund

Subject: RE: Caspy & Rabadash

* * *

><p>Work away, Ed. If you can invent such a weapon, I will respect you all the more! Maybe you will actually become "Brilliant King Edmund the Just of Narnia." Ha! Carry on with the work. I look forward to seeing your results.<p>

- Peter

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note:<strong> Hope you laughed or smiled! May the Lion be with you this weekend! Review if you get a chance!


	18. O Great Muscled Prince Rabadash

**Author's note: **I would like to dedicate this next chapter to my loyal reviewer Hannah Skipper and her wonderful ideas! And yes, there is a quote from Jane Austen's "Emma". I just couldn't resist using it. Sorry that I haven't updated in so long. I've been very busy finishing "Airplanes in the Night Sky." I hope you enjoy it! It includes a bunch of nonsense between Rabadash, Caspy and the Lady of the Gre- pardon, Grrreen Kirrrtle. And of course, everyone's favorite pet octopus!

* * *

><p>From: Caspy the Fake<p>

To: Rabadash

Subject: Octy

* * *

><p>Rabadash! Octy is missing! Whaaaahhhhh! My poor, slimy, gurgling Octy! I'm sure it was you and I am SO SORRY that I ever got mad at you! Just please return my darling octopus!<p>

- Caspy

* * *

><p>From: Rabadash<p>

To: Caspy the Fake

Subject: RE: Octy

* * *

><p>Caspy, I did not take your gurgling gershwin of an octopus. Instead, he showed up at the Kirtle's front door. And how do you think she reacted? She's letting us out of the deal. Now there is no chance for ME to marry Susan. Badly done, Caspy. Badly done.<p>

- O Enlightened Prince Rabadash

* * *

><p>From: Caspy the Fake<p>

To: Rabadash

Subject: RE: Octy

* * *

><p>Rabadash, I don't know how you think you are the "enlightened Prince" if you don't know that you can't use the word "gershwin" to describe something. It's some bald guy's surname!<p>

But, you mean to say that the Lady of the Green Kirtle won't let ME marry Susan? That is a tragedy! How could you have let this happen, Rab!

A very depressed Caspy the Fake

* * *

><p>From: Rabadash<p>

To: Caspy the Fake

Subject: RE: Octy

* * *

><p>Since when did you know anything, Caspy? You don't even have a brain. And if you do, pea brain, I've never seen you use it.<p>

- Rabadash, Twice Enlightened Prince

P.S. I will be the one MARRYING Queen Susan! Not you, nitwit!

* * *

><p>From: Caspy the Fake<p>

To: Rabadash

Subject: RE: Octy

* * *

><p>Yes, I do have a brain, Rabadash, and it's not the size of a pea. It's just the size of a chicken's brain.<p>

Your big, fancy titles don't do anything for you except make Lasaraleen think that you are dreamy.

-Caspy

P.S. Who are you calling a nitwit, you scoundrel!

* * *

><p>From: Rabadash<p>

To: Caspy the Fake

Subject: RE: Octy

* * *

><p>And how in Tashbaan would you know what Lasaraleen thinks?<p>

-Rabadash

* * *

><p>From: Caspy the Fake<p>

To: Rabadash

Subject: RE: Octy

* * *

><p>Oh, she's my cousin and she wants revenge on Susan because you like Susan more than her. Though I can't blame you. However, I think you better kill the ancient bearded guy who she married and marry Lasaraleen. That way I can have Susan all to myself.<p>

* * *

><p>From: Rabadash<p>

To: Caspy the Fake

Subject: RE: Octy

* * *

><p>Yah right! There is NO WAY that I would settle for anything less than the best and Susan is definitely THE BEST! You can have dreamy Lasaraleen.<p>

* * *

><p>From: Caspy the Fake<p>

To: Rabadash

Subject: RE: Octy

* * *

><p>Oh, but she's my cousin (thirteen times removed) and she doesn't like me anyway. She thinks your muscles are AMAZING.<p>

* * *

><p>From: Rabadash<p>

To: Caspy the Fake

Subject: RE: Octy

* * *

><p>Well, I do have to say that I think they are pretty amazing too.<p>

- O Great Muscled Prince Rabadash

* * *

><p>From: The Lady of the Green Kirtle<p>

To: Caspy the Fake

Subject: Octopusss

* * *

><p>Cassspy, my *cough* good frrriend, I have taken quite a liking to your sssweet little octopusss friend. I think I ssshall keep him…forrreverrr! I hope you arrre not offended.<p>

Sssincerly, The Lady of the Grrreen Kirrrtle

* * *

><p>From: Caspy the Fake<p>

To: The Lady of the Green Kirtle

Subject: RE: Octopusss

* * *

><p>You can't keep my darling Octy! You must return my slime ball to ME! I am greatly offended and I shall never again buy you cackle-green nail polish! Take that, Kirrrtle!<p>

- Caspy the Fake

* * *

><p>From: The Lady of the Green Kirtle<p>

To: Caspy the Fake

Subject: RE: Octopusss

* * *

><p>But darrrling, I NEEEEEED my cackle-green nail polish! I will PERRRISHHHH WITH OUT IT!<p>

* * *

><p>From: Caspy the Fake<p>

To: The Lady of the Green Kirtle

Subject: RE: Octopusss

* * *

><p>No, you won't perish. You can live just fine without me and nail polish.<p>

* * *

><p>From: The Lady of the Green Kirtle<p>

To: Caspy the Fake

Subject: RE: Octopusss

* * *

><p>But darrrling, don't you rrremeber that my whole hearrrt belongsss to you. I will make you rrrich and popularrr and everrryone will want to buy yourrr new album 'Grrreasy-Hairrred Prrrince." And Queen Sssusan will asssk for your autograph.<p>

* * *

><p>From: Caspy the Fake<p>

To: The Lady of the Green Kirtle

Subject: RE: RE: Octopusss

* * *

><p>Well, I suppose you are right. I do want 'Greasy-Haired Prince' to sell well and with you indorsing it, I'm sure it will be the biggest hit in Telmar (and Narnia). Do you really think that Susan will want my autograph?<p>

-Caspy

P.S. Did I tell you that I named my electric guitar 'Amelia Susanne'?

* * *

><p>From: The Lady of the Green Kirtle<p>

To: Caspy the Fake

Subject: RE: RE: Octopusss

* * *

><p>Of courrrse, darrrling, Cassspy. Why wouldn't Queen Sssusan want your autogrrraph? And I bet ssshe would be thrrrilled, if you, darrrling Prrrince, gave herrr a little kisss.<p>

* * *

><p>From: Caspy the Fake<p>

To: The Lady of the Green Kirtle

Subject: RE: RE: Octopusss

* * *

><p>Oh, no, I couldn't kiss her. Her brothers would have my head! My poor hair! It would be so lonely without my stunning complexion.<p>

* * *

><p>From: The Lady of the Green Kirtle<p>

To: Caspy the Fake

Subject: RE: RE: Octopusss

* * *

><p>That would be a shhhame, sssince you have sssuch a lovely head, darrrling Cassspy.<p>

* * *

><p>From: Caspy the Fake<p>

To: The Lady of the Green Kirtle

Subject: RE: RE: Octopusss

* * *

><p>Oh, yes, I am quite handsome. Alright, you can have Octy if you will endorse "Greasy-Haired Prince" and get Susan to want my autograph.<p>

- Caspy

* * *

><p>From: The Lady of the Green Kirtle<p>

To: Caspy the Fake

Subject: RE: RE: Octopusss

* * *

><p>Consssider it done, Cassspy!<p>

- The Lady of the Grrreen Kirrrtle

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note:<strong> Hope you liked it! I have a question: if YOU saw "Greasy-Haired Prince" as an album, would you buy it? And would you want Caspy the Fake's autograph?


	19. Angry Centaurs

**Author's note:** Hello readers! For those of you who are Lord of the Rings/Hobbit fans, I am working on a story similar to this titled, "The_Fellowship at Middle-Earth. com." Check it out if you like!

Sorry that I haven't updated this story in like, FOREVER! I've been terribly busy writing my serious Narnia fic, "Born For This". But I couldn't leave Aravis missing forever. So here is Chapter 18 in which Edmund has a dumb idea (inspired by my brother), Peter tries to speak some sense and Aravis has ideas of her own…

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Peter

Subject: An idea…

* * *

><p>Hullo Peter!<p>

You know, I think we should start a Narnian rugby team. What do you think? We could get a group of dwarves together. They're pretty hardy. I'm sure Oreius would help us coach. And we could play against the Giants...literally! He he! Yah...Somehow I don't think you are going to like my brilliant idea.

- Edmund

* * *

><p>From: Peter<p>

To: Edmund

Subject: Re: An idea…

* * *

><p>Um, Edmund? I thought you were supposed to be trying to build an anti-CaspyRabadash gun. What happened to that? We still have to rescue Aravis, remember? We don't have time to teach the dwarves how to play rugby. They are too busy playing addicting games. (Have _you_ ever tried Angry Centaurs? I thought it was dumb.)

- Peter

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Peter

Subject: RE: Re: An idea…

* * *

><p>YOU THOUGHT ANGRY CENTAURS WAS DUMB? How could you, Peter? I thought you were my brother! That hurts worse than it would if you called me a traitor. Well, maybe not, but it still hurts! After all, I was the one who invented it.<p>

Your hurt little brother, Ed

* * *

><p>From: Peter<p>

To: Edmund

Subject: RE: RE: An idea…

* * *

><p>You invented Angry Centaurs, Ed? Wow. I'm impressed. Alright, it really wasn't <em>that<em> bad... But that doesn't mean you get out of making that important gun! I know you tactics. You're trying to distract me. Caspy and Rabadash and the Lady of the Green Kirtle must be vanquished!

- King Peter the Magnificent

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Peter

Subject: RE: RE: An idea…

* * *

><p>Oh, don't pull your fancy titles out on me, Peter. I already know how much of a blockhead you really are. And for your information, it's the Lady of the Grrreen Kirrrtle, not Green Kirtle. Oreius and I are still going to coach a rugby team because the gun is coming along just fine. :)<p>

Love, little Eddie

* * *

><p>From: Peter<p>

To: Edmund

Subject: RE: RE: An idea…

* * *

><p>How many different ways are you going to sign your name, Ed? I thought you didn't like being called Eddie.<p>

I don't believe you when you say that the gun is coming along fine. Those are cheeky words. I want to see it in person, completed, by the end of the week. No more time extensions. We need that gun now!

- Peter, Emperor of the Lone Islands

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Peter

Subject: RE: RE: An idea…

* * *

><p>What's wrong with signing my name differently? You do it too. I can call myself Eddie; I just don't like you to call me that. You baby me too much. I'm not a child. Well, technically I am, but that is beside the point.<p>

My anti-Caspy/Rabadash gun is almost ready, but what are we going to do about the Lady of the Grrreen Kirrrtle? Has anyone heard anything from Aravis in a while? Perhaps the Kirrrtle got really hungry.

- Edmund, Duke of Lantern Waste

* * *

><p>From: Aravis<p>

To: Peter; Edmund; Cor; Corin

Subject: Rescue

* * *

><p>Since you are obviously never coming to rescue me and the Kirrrtle hasn't killed me yet, I have decided to take things into my own hands. See you when I escape.<p>

- Aravis

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Aravis

Subject: RE: Rescue

* * *

><p>What? You're not waiting for us to come rescue you? We are coming, remember? Just as soon as I – OOOOOOH! Hey, if you escape by yourself, that means I don't have to finish my anti-CaspyRabadash gun! Woohoo! I love you, Aravis! Er, not in that way. He he. *awkward pause* I honestly didn't mean it to sound that way. I do not love you. Sorry. Besides Cor likes you. I hope you like him.

- Edmund the Awkward

* * *

><p>From: Cor<p>

To: Aravis

Subject: RE: Rescue

Dear Aravis,

* * *

><p>Please be very careful. Peter and Edmund and I are trying to come, but Edmund's plans just keep falling through. Please be very, very careful. I don't want anything to happen to you, er go wrong with your plan. Rabadash, Caspy and the Kirrrtle are very dangerous. Perhaps you should consult Oreius or Reepicheep about this.<p>

With love, Cor

* * *

><p>From: Aravis<p>

To: Reepicheep

Subject: Escape

* * *

><p>Hello Reepicheep!<p>

I borrowed the iPad that Caspy left on his last visit to my prison. So that is how I am writing to you. The Lady of the Grrreen Kirrrtle has pretty good internet service. I wonder who her server is… Never mind.

I was wondering if you could help me with my escape plans. I thought that perhaps Tuesday would be a good day. The Kirrrtle always goes shopping on Tuesday and I could probably ask to go with. I'm sure she would let me. She's pretty lenient. Then while she is occupied, I could sneak off to Lasaraleen's house and hide there until you could come with a horse so I could flee back to Archenland. What do you think? Can you even ride a horse?

Oh, and I don't know what to do about the Kirrtle after I escape. Perhaps King Peter could contact Prince Rilian about the matter. She really should be locked away in her spa forever. I think Lasaraleen will have ideas about that horrid Prince Rabadash.

Thank you so much, Reepicheep. You are such a brave Mouse and I hope that you will consider my plan and make some changes perhaps.

Sincerely, Aravis

* * *

><p>From: Reepicheep<p>

To: Aravis

Subject: RE: Escape

* * *

><p>Your plan is brilliant, dear maiden! And yes, I can ride a horse. You will guide it and I shall sit upon its head. I will meet you at Lady Lasaraleen's house on Tuesday. Do you mind if we have just a little help? I was thinking of one person in particular.<p>

- The Most Noble Reepicheep

* * *

><p>From: Aravis<p>

To: Reepicheep

Subject: RE: RE: Escape

* * *

><p>Dear Reepicheep!<p>

I am so ready to escape on Tuesday! I should have never listened to the Kirrrtle's spa getaway junk. Is this person you mentioned a fellow Mouse, or is it dearest Cor? I should hope it would be Cor. I know he will lecture me terribly, but I shan't mind a bit. I have missed him so much.

- Aravis

* * *

><p>From: Reepicheep<p>

To: Aravis

Subject: RE: RE: Escape

* * *

><p>You must wait to discover who my acquaintance is, fairest damsel. Tuesday shall come quickly. Be prepared in case I must rescue you from the clutches of Caspy or Rabadash should those foul fiends appear. Until then, maiden.<p>

- Reepicheep, Noble Knight of Narnia

* * *

><p><strong>Author's<strong> **note:** Well, there you are! Hope you enjoyed it and thought it was a little humorous. So Aravis is very close to being rescued. Edmund really didn't help at all. But Caspy and Rabadash still haven't been vanquished. :) I still have plans for those trouble makers.

Wow! 108 reviews! Thanks guys! 3


	20. So, Cor, what about Aravis?

**Author's note:** Hey guys! I'm back with another update! Yay! Thanks to Hannah Skipper for her constant flow of ideas. (I'm very excited that you are going to get an account, Hannah! I look forward to being able to reply to your reviews.)

Enjoy everyone!

* * *

><p>From: Aravis<p>

To: Reepicheep

Subject: Tuesday

* * *

><p>REEPICHEEP! THE LADY OF THE GRRREEN KIRRRTLE CHANGED HER SHOPPING DAY! AGGGGHHHHHHHHH!<p>

Oh, wait, what was that? NEVERMIND! WOOHOO! She realized she was out of dilly bars. So we ARE going shopping on Tuesday. Phew! I thought for sure our plan was ruined. I better get a hold of Lasaraleen.

Send my love to everyone (including Edmund)!

- Aravis

* * *

><p>From: Reepicheep<p>

To: Peter; Susan; Edmund; Lucy; Cor; Corin;

Subject: Love

* * *

><p>Aravis sends her love to you all (including Edmund).<p>

Personally, I thought that was just a little disturbing for a girl. Perhaps the Kirrrtle's magic is affecting the lass's brain… Anyway, I go to help her escape on Tuesday. See you then.

- Reepicheep the Noble (and somewhat befuzzled)

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Susan

Subject: I knew it!

* * *

><p>I knew it, Susan! I just knew it! Oh, I'm doomed for eternity. Oh, Cor is going to kill me when he gets the chance! Woe is me! All because of a silly typo.<p>

From the depths of despair, Edmund

* * *

><p>From: Susan<p>

To: Edmund

Subject: RE: I knew it!

* * *

><p>Whatever are you talking about, dear brother? Why is Cor going to kill you? What is going on? Why are you in the depths of despair? Where is that place anyway? I thought you were in your study.<p>

- Susan the Gentle

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Susan

Subject: RE: I knew it!

* * *

><p>It's Aravis, Su. I accidentally said that I loved her. I apologized but I'm afraid she took it too literally. Why else would she ask Reep to send out a letter delivering her love?<p>

* * *

><p>From: Susan<p>

To: Edmund

Subject: RE: I knew it!

* * *

><p>Edmund! What have I told you about girls? Never mind. You obviously don't remember anything I taught you. However, Peter does. Hmm, that reminds me. I need to ask him how he ended up dropping Countess Arilla's daughter into the punch bowl…<p>

- Susan

* * *

><p>From: Aravis<p>

To: Lasaraleen (muscledprincelvr at superfashions. com)

Subject: Visit

* * *

><p>Hey Lasaraleen!<p>

I haven't seen you in AGES! We should totally get together. How about Tuesday? I'm coming to town. :) We could hang out and get Tisroc (may he live forever) pizza! I know how much you love that! I think I could even arrange a special treat visit from Prince Rabadash. I have recently become acquainted with him and his best friend who is to DIE FOR! (*cough*)

Anyway, what do you say?

Love your ABSOLUTE FAVORITE BESTIE, Aravis

* * *

><p>From: Lasaraleen<p>

To: Aravis

Subject: RE: Visit

* * *

><p>Oh, Aravis, darling! How wonderful to hear from you. I haven't talked to you much since you moved away to that quaint little castle. Where is it again? The Seven Isles? You're so far away. So of course I would love to see you again. But you can't come. I'm getting a manicure. So sorry. Not even your promises of seeing how cute Prince Rabadash is can tempt me. Besides, how would you know him? You live in some isolated village.<p>

Sorry to disappoint you,

Lasaraleen

* * *

><p>From: Corin<p>

To: Cor

Subject: Aravis

* * *

><p>So, Cor, how do you feel about Aravis rescuing herself?<p>

- Corin

* * *

><p>From: Cor<p>

To: Corin

Subject: RE: Aravis

* * *

><p>And why would you care about that? Anyway, I'm fine with it because she really isn't rescuing herself.<p>

- Cor

* * *

><p>From: Corin<p>

To: Cor

Subject: RE: Aravis

* * *

><p>What do you mean? And when are you going to ask her?<p>

- Corin

* * *

><p>From: Cor<p>

To: Corin

Subject: RE: Aravis

* * *

><p>I cannot tell you exactly what I mean. And what are you intending by asking me if I am going to ask her? What am I going to ask her? I don't know what you are talking about.<p>

- Cor

* * *

><p>From: Corin<p>

To: Cor

Subject: RE: Aravis

* * *

><p>Come on, Cor! You know exactly what I'm talking about. When are you going to ask Aravis to marry you?<p>

- Corin

* * *

><p>From: Cor<p>

To: Corin

Subject: RE: Aravis

* * *

><p>Ask Aravis to marry me? Why, Corin! What put such a ridiculous idea into your head? You know that we don't care for one another.<p>

- Cor

* * *

><p>From: Corin<p>

To: Cor

Subject: RE: Aravis

* * *

><p>Don't care for each other? Bah! Stop denying it, Cor! You love Aravis and you are going to ask her to marry you! Man up and ask her when she returns. If you don't, I'll punch you.<p>

- Corin

* * *

><p>From: Lucy<p>

To: Cor

Subject: Hint

* * *

><p>Hey, Cor!<p>

So, are you going to ask Aravis to marry you when she gets back? You two would be SO CUTE together! Anyway… I think she would totally say yes so you should ask her.

- Lucy

* * *

><p>From: Cor<p>

To: Lucy

Subject: RE: Hint

* * *

><p>Did Corin put you up to this? He's trying to force me into proposing to Aravis. He won't believe me that we don't care for each other.<p>

Very exasperated, Cor

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note: <strong>Hope you laughed! This will be my last chapter during Christmas because things will be very busy. I won't be updating for a little bit but I shall continue to reply to your reviews and PMs during this time. :) Enjoy your Christmas holiday! Remember the reason for this Christmas season. Merry CHRISTmas :)


	21. The Little Matchmaker

**Author's note:** Tying the kirtle is the Narnian form of the expression tying the knot. Just to let you know. Love is in the air! :) And it's not just Rab and Caspy fakey crushes. This is true love, folks! And it's canon too! Just the icing on the cake. Yum!

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Peter

Subject: Punch

* * *

><p>So, Pete, I'm quite curious about your escapade with Countess Arilla's daughter that has suddenly come to light.<p>

- Edmund

* * *

><p>From: Peter<p>

To: Edmund

Subject: RE: Punch

* * *

><p>Well, Ed, it came down to this: either drop her in the punch bowl, or drown in her exotic perfume from Calormen. I chose to drop her in the punch bowl. It was much more exciting than drowning. Didn't you see it? Oh, never mind. You were too busy conspiring with Corin about how to get Cor to ask Aravis to marry him. Why the sudden interest in Aravis's future? You haven't taken a strong liking to her, I hope!<p>

A worried Peter

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Peter

Subject: RE: Punch

* * *

><p>Oh, no! Nothing of the sort, I assure you, dear brother! No, it is she who has an unfortunate liking for me. :(<p>

- Ed

* * *

><p>From: Peter<p>

To: Edmund

Subject: RE: Punch

* * *

><p>Poor Ed. However do you manage to get into such scrapes, brother? Didn't I ever warn you about messing with girls? Not that you'd listen to me, but it might have helped a bit. :)<p>

- Peter

* * *

><p>From: Aravis<p>

To: Reepicheep

Subject: Escape Again

* * *

><p>Reepicheep, we're going through with our plan whether or not the Lady of the Grrreen Kirrrtle buys dilly bars and whether or not Lasaraleen is going to be present. Because I want to go home!<p>

- Aravis

* * *

><p>From: Cor<p>

To: Reepicheep

Subject: Tuesday

* * *

><p>Ready, Reep? I'm eager to set out!<p>

- Cor

* * *

><p>From: Reepicheep<p>

To: Cor

Subject: RE: Tuesday

* * *

><p>Of course, Prince Cor. I would be very eager too, if I were you. But I'm not. There are many rumors floating around the castle that you and Lady Aravis might be tying the kirtle when she returns. Is this true? You can tell me during our journey.<p>

- Reepicheep, Knight of Narnia

* * *

><p>From: Aravis<p>

To: EVERYONE IN MY CONTACT LIST

Subject: Hooray!

* * *

><p>I'M FREE! And thank you, Cor!<p>

Love, Aravis

* * *

><p>From: mailfailure at anvard. gov<p>

To: Aravis

No Subject

* * *

><p>Failure to deliver message 245816. Please resend.<p>

* * *

><p>From: Aravis<p>

To: Peter; Susan; Edmund; Lucy; Corin; Cor; Lasaraleen; Reepicheep; Oreius, Caspian X; Rilian; Eustace; Jill; Polly; Digory

Subject: Hooray!

* * *

><p>Darn. It didn't work the first time. Here's the original:<p>

I'M FREE! And thank you, Cor!

Love, Aravis

* * *

><p>From: Lucy<p>

To: Aravis

Subject: Together

* * *

><p>So, Aravis, when are you and Cor becoming a couple?<p>

- Lucy the Innocent Matchmaker

* * *

><p>From: Aravis<p>

To: Lucy

Subject: RE: Together

* * *

><p>Begging your pardon, Queen Lucy, but I am unsure what you meant.<p>

- Aravis the Escapee

* * *

><p>From: Lucy<p>

To: Aravis

Subject: RE: Together

* * *

><p>Oh, Aravis, don't be so modest. We all know how fond you and Cor are of each other.<p>

- Lucy

* * *

><p>From: Aravis<p>

To: Lucy

Subject: RE: Together

* * *

><p>Well, we do like to disagree a lot. But we always make up afterwards, mind you. It would be far more convenient to argue if we were married. Hmm, I'll have to think about that. Thank you for your suggestion, Queen Lucy.<p>

- Aravis

* * *

><p>From: The Lady of the Grrreen Kirrrtle<p>

To: Aravis

Subject: Darrrling

* * *

><p>Arrravis, darrrling, why did you leave? You didn't even botherrr to sssay goodbye! You have hurrrt my feelings deeply. Not even Cassspy's dear octopusss can calm me.<p>

- The Lady of the Grrreen Kirrrtle

* * *

><p>From: Cor<p>

To: Corin

Subject: I give in

* * *

><p>Alright, Corin, I think I am finally going to "man up" as you put it and ask Aravis to marry me tomorrow night. I'll let you know how it goes. If I don't chicken out or something. Not that I would actually do that, mind you!<p>

Your brother, Cor

* * *

><p>From: Corin<p>

To: Cor

Subject: RE: I give in

* * *

><p>I knew you would come to your senses in the end, Cor! I always knew you two loved each other underneath all the prickles and quarrels!<p>

Very, VERY thrilled, Corin

* * *

><p>From: Cor<p>

To: Peter; Susan; Edmund; Lucy; Corin; Cor; Lasaraleen; Reepicheep; Oreius, Caspian X; Rilian; Eustace; Jill; Polly; Digory; Caspy the Fake; Rabadash; Lady of the Grrreen Kirrrtle

Subject: Love is in the Air

* * *

><p>SHE SAID YES!<p>

Overjoyed, Prince Cor

* * *

><p>From: Caspy<p>

To: Cor

Subject: RE: Love is in the Air

* * *

><p>Who said yes? Not my precious Susan, I hope! I think I will die if you marry my Susan. Or maybe I could just scream my latest No. 1 hit, "Bacon" in your face until you die!<p>

- Caspy the Fake

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Cor

Subject: RE: Love is in the Air

* * *

><p>CONGRATS, COR! NOW I DON'T HAVE TO MARRY HER! HOORAY! I ALWAYS KNEW SHE LOVED YOU BETTER!<p>

- Edmund the Hysterically Relieved

* * *

><p>From: Rabadash<p>

To: Cor

Subject: RE: Love is in the Air

* * *

><p>What? My beloved Susan didn't wait for me? She married you instead! You're only just a prince! I am the soon-to-be-Tisroc (may he live forever) and heir to the WORLD! Pah! Take that you girlfriend thief!<p>

- Insulted and Outraged, Prince Rabadash of Calormen

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note:<strong> Ha ha! I think I have too much fun writing this story! So, are you happy that Aravis and Cor are engaged?

This is my last post for 2012. Thanks for all your wonderful reviews this past year and I look forward to another great year with you in 2013!


	22. Meet Little Muscles

**Author's note:** Well, this is my first post for 2013. Sorry I didn't update sooner. I've been quite busy. :) Enjoy! And I apologize for the crazy lines. They weren't working right.

* * *

><p>From: Cor<p>

To: Peter

Subject: Rab and Caspy

* * *

><p>King Peter,<p>

Prince Rabadash of Calormen and a certain Caspy the Fake both emailed me, expressing their extreme dissatisfaction at the announcement of my engagement, because they both seem to think that I am marrying your beloved sister, Queen Susan. So, should I clear up this misunderstanding or leave it where it stands?

Sincerely, Cor

* * *

><p>From: Peter<p>

To: Cor

Subject: RE: Rab and Caspy

* * *

><p>Hello, Cor, dear.<p>

This is Susan. You may be wondering why I am emailing from my brother's account. You see, Peter was suddenly taken ill. He blames it on Countess Arilla's daughter and that exotic perfume. Personally, I think it is because he's trying to avoid Edmund. They won't tell what happened last Wednesday. Those boys! I never know what to do with them. :)

Anyway, I suppose I should answer your question. I totally think that you should just let them live with their misunderstandings. It is far more humorous.

With love, Susan

P.S. We hope to get Peter back on his feet this week.

* * *

><p>From: Lucy<p>

To: Aravis

Subject: Congrats!

* * *

><p>So, Aravis, I just KNEW it would happen! I KNEW that Cor loved you! Peter wouldn't say for sure but he kept dropping little hints that Cor was going to propose when he and Reep rescued you. Aww, that's so romantic. Do Susan and I get to help you plan the wedding? Please, please, please? XD How could you resist this face? It always works on my brothers!<p>

Love, Lucy

* * *

><p>From: Aravis<p>

To: Lucy

Subject: Re: Congrats!

* * *

><p>Of course, Queen Lucy! I was just going to ask if you and Queen Susan would help. I know nothing about planning royal weddings, and there are no other ladies at court currently. I would love your help.<p>

- Aravis

* * *

><p>From: Lucy<p>

To: Aravis

Subject: RE: Congrats!

* * *

><p>Ha, well, Susan and I don't know anything about planning royal weddings either (since none of us have ever married) but we have planned grand balls and celebrations. I think we'll be good. :) Susan is going to email you in a few minutes. She'll bombard you with questions.<p>

Love, Lucy

* * *

><p>From: Susan<p>

To: Aravis

Subject: Wedding

* * *

><p>Hello, Aravis!<p>

Congratulations on your engagement to Cor! I knew that it would come sometime! But to business, we need to plan your wedding shower. It will take place at Cair Anvard, of course. Please send me a guest list when you have a chance. How many ladies of court are there? Are you going to invite Lasaraleen? How's Corin holding up? Write back as soon as you have a chance! Would you like to hold the reception at Cair Paravel?

- Queen Susan

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Eustace

Subject: Guess who

* * *

><p>Hullo Eustace!<p>

How's it going? Did you hear that Cor and Aravis finally got engaged?

Oh, you'll never guess who I had the pleasure of seeing the other day.

- Cousin Edmund

* * *

><p>From: Eustace<p>

To: Edmund

Subject: Re: Guess who

* * *

><p>I'm doing fine. How about you? And who did you see?<p>

- Cousin Eustace

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Eustace

Subject: RE: Guess who

* * *

><p>The one and only girl who likes hanging around you. Not meant as an insult of course.<p>

Cheeky Ed

* * *

><p>From: Eustace<p>

To: Edmund

Subject: RE: Guess who

* * *

><p>So you're saying that besides Jill, none of the other girls like hanging around me? You're cruel, Edmund! Lucy doesn't mind me. Ask her!<p>

So you saw Jill. Big deal.

- Eustace

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Eustace

Subject: RE: RE: Guess who

* * *

><p>Big deal? BIG DEAL? Are you blind or something?! Man, that girl has the biggest crush on you!<p>

- Ed

* * *

><p>From: Eustace<p>

To: Edmund

Subject: RE: RE: Guess who

* * *

><p>Ha! Yah, right! Quit pulling my leg, cousin.<p>

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Eustace

Subject: RE: RE: Guess who

* * *

><p>I'm serious, Eustace! Not kidding! This is FOR REAL!<p>

* * *

><p>From: Rabadash<p>

To: Caspy

Subject: Little Bro

* * *

><p>Hey, ex-friend!<p>

Have you met my little brother, Little Muscles? You should email him. His address is snerkyjerky at muscles4ever. com.

Your ex-friend, O Great Muscled Prince Rabadash

* * *

><p>From: Caspy<p>

To: Rabadash

Subject: RE: Little Bro

* * *

><p>Why in Telmar would I want to email your nasty little wimp of the brother? Huh? You're trying to steal my girlfriend! I thought we weren't on speaking – um, emailing – terms!<p>

- Caspy the Fake

P.S. Where is Octy currently?

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note: <strong>So, are you excited to meet Rab's little bro, Little Muscles? I think you're gonna enjoy him! Violets & Lillies (formerly Hannah Skipper) and I have been scheming lately, and Little Muscles seemed like the perfect addition. What do you think of his email address?


	23. April Fools Y'all!

**Author's note: **Sorry I haven't updated in so long. I've been very busy doing a writing challenge and haven't had time.

But meanwhile, guess what! Caspy the Fake started his very own blog. You can read it at: caspysbadboyblog. blogspot. com.

He frequently has guests, including his little brother, Raspy (who does the backup vocals for Caspy's songs), and other weirdos like himself. Enjoy this chapter and enjoy Caspy's blog!

* * *

><p>From: Susan<p>

To: Aravis; Lucy

Subject: More Wedding Stuff

* * *

><p>What flavor of cake would you like, Aravis? Edmund says chocolate, but Peter says white. Tumnus wants fruit cake with sardines on top. Eww!<p>

The wedding shower shall be at Cair Anvard, correct? We need to set a date and keep it secret so dreaded Caspy doesn't crash it.

Does Cor want to have a bachelor party? Are the guys willing to plan it?

Please get back to me soon!

With love, Susan

* * *

><p>From: Aravis<p>

To: Susan; Lucy

Subject: RE: More Wedding Stuff

* * *

><p>Hello Queen Susan and Queen Lucy,<p>

Can we have chocolate and white cake? Cor and Corin want chocolate, but I think white cake would look more formal.

Yes, King Lune has graciously arranged for the southern veranda to be decorated and used for the shower. All we have to do is plan out the food and invite the guests.

Corin would like to know if the guys could possibly just hang out at King Peter's hunting lodge. It would only be Cor, Corin and your brothers. And King Lune.

Thank you so much for all your help!

- Aravis

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Eustace

Subject: Guess What!

* * *

><p>Hey Eustace!<p>

Guess who I saw (again)!

- Ed

* * *

><p>From: Eustace<p>

To: Edmund

Subject: RE: Guess What!

* * *

><p>Uhh, Jill? Would you please leave me alone about her!<p>

- Eustace

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Eustace

Subject: RE: Guess What!

* * *

><p>Oh, come on, Eustace! It's funny. And as your cousin, I have the right to tease you about girls.<p>

Sincerely, Edmund

P.S. Don't bother arguing with me about it since I _am_ the king!

* * *

><p>From: Eustace<p>

To: Peter

Subject: Your Brother

* * *

><p>Cousin Peter,<p>

Edmund will not drop the subject of Jill. He got it in his head that we like each other, and he wouldn't stop teasing me about her! Could you possibly do something about it?

Thank you,

Cousin Eustace

* * *

><p>From: Peter<p>

To: Eustace

Subject: RE: Your Brother

* * *

><p>I'm sure that I can do something, Eustace. ;) Edmund doesn't know when to let things drop sometimes. But may I ask, <em>do<em> you like Jill?

- Cousin Peter

* * *

><p>From: Eustace<p>

To: Peter

Subject: RE: Your brother

* * *

><p>Do I like Jill? I dearly hope Edmund doesn't see this email. But yes, I suppose I do like her. Very much.<p>

* * *

><p>From: Lucy<p>

To: Susan

Subject: Eustace & Jill

* * *

><p>Susan! Susan, you won't guess what I found out! Peter left his email pulled up on his computer, and he had an email from Eustace. Well, Eustace admitted that he likes Jill. Like <em>like likes<em> Jill. Like he might marry her. But we can't tell Edmund.

Love, Lucy

* * *

><p>From: Susan<p>

To: Lucy

Subject: RE: Eustace & Jill

* * *

><p>Lucy, what have I told you about reading messages meant for other people? You are quite nosy sometimes. As for the news, I have always assumed that. Actually, Peter and I were discussing it last week.<p>

* * *

><p>From: Corin<p>

To: Edmund

Subject: Look at the date…

* * *

><p>Hey King Edmund!<p>

Do you know what today is? If you don't, it's April Fools! We should do something crazy! Something really crazy! We should prank your brother.

- Corin

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Corin

Subject: RE: Look at the date…

* * *

><p>You're such a brilliant lad, Corin! We should get Peter! We can douse him in chocolate milk or something better. Any ideas?<p>

* * *

><p>From: Corin<p>

To: Edmund

Subject: RE: Look at the date…

* * *

><p>I know! When King Peter is taking a nap, you should dye his hair green! Hahahaha! But don't tell him it was my idea.<p>

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Corin

Subject: RE: Look at the date…

* * *

><p>I won't tell. No one will know. :::evil smile:::<p>

- Ed

* * *

><p>From: Peter<p>

To: Edmund

Subject: GLARE

* * *

><p>EEEDDDMMMUUUNNNDDD!<p>

* * *

><p>From: Edmund<p>

To: Peter

Subject: RE: GLARE

* * *

><p>What made you want to change hair color, Peter? You were already dumb enough as a blond.<p>

- Cheeky Edmund

P.S. I think I'll go live in the woods for a bit.

* * *

><p>From: Peter<p>

To: Lucy

Subject: Favor

* * *

><p>Will you do me a favor, Lu? When Edmund returns home, please inform me so that I can lock him up for 100 years and not have to speak to him, save when I wish.<p>

Your loving brother, Peter

* * *

><p>From: Lucy<p>

To: Peter

Subject: RE: Favor

* * *

><p>Why? What did Edmund do this time?<p>

* * *

><p>From: Peter<p>

To: Lucy

Subject: RE: Favor

* * *

><p>What did he do? WHAT DID HE DO?! Lucy, just look at my hair. That's all the evidence you need. And I liked being a blond too. :(<p>

* * *

><p>From: Lucy<p>

To: Peter

Subject: RE: Favor

* * *

><p>BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOUR HAIR IS GREEN! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!<p>

* * *

><p>From: Susan<p>

To: Peter

Subject: Your Hair

* * *

><p>Peter Pevensie, what did you do to your hair?! It's horrible!<p>

* * *

><p>From: Peter<p>

To: Susan

Subject: RE: Your Hair

* * *

><p>Susan, do you honestly think that I would dye my own hair? It was Edmund of course. Who assisted him, I don't know. But it was Edmund no doubt. I will get that scoundrel!<p>

- Peter

* * *

><p>From: Susan<p>

To: Peter

Subject: RE: Your Hair

* * *

><p>I have the perfect prank to pull on Caspy the Fake and Rabadash! :D<p>

With love, Susan the _Gentle_


End file.
